• “You’re telling me they play SEVEN of these games just to see who wins?”

• “What’s with all the ugly tattoos? It’s like some sort of gross tattoo competition.”

• “I don’t think me watching this because you watched ‘Gossip Girl’ was a fair trade.”

• “Why don’t teams just shoot three pointers if they count for more than two pointers?”

• “I DO NOT understand what Eva Longoria sees in Tony Parker. He looks like my cousin’s boxer.”

• “I can’t believe that many people live in Detroit.”

• “So it ended up that Kobe is just really into anal, right?”

• “I bet all those cheerleaders have sex with the players hoping they’ll get pregnant.”

• “That Ginn-Nob-Lee guy needs to give Propecia a try.”

• “I don’t understand why you have to watch the whole game when only the last two minutes matter.”

• “How is that little guy for the Hornets so much better than everyone else? He looks like he’s 15.”

• “Is San Antonio in America or Mexico?”

• “I still can’t believe they had to kill that horse after the race.”

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