What we learned from the weekend that was…

Chicks Still Can’t Drive

And men still can’t have babies. Facts of life. Deal with it.

Winning a Major That’s Not Actually a Major Means You Still Haven’t Won a Major

Congrats go to Sergio Garcia for winning the so-called “fifth major” at TPC and taking the term “almost” to a startling new record setting level (previously held by us in the category of “losing virginity”).

We’ve always liked Sergio. We liked those old Michelob Light commercials (”No, hit the clubs“). And we like his self-effacing style (the first thing he did in his press conference yesterday was thank Tiger for not being there). We’ll be rooting for the Spanish midget to officially close the deal some time soon. [USA Today]

Home Games Are Easy When You’re Not the Magic

Everyone wins at home in the playoffs except the Magic. Maybe it’s the crappy team name. Maybe it’s the Disney influence. Or maybe it’s because the most intimidating person to ever come out of O-Town is Timberlake. Our boy JB may be the only person who knows the true answer.

Barkley Now Realizes Milk Was a Bad Choice

Just when you thought Charles couldn’t trump his previous awesomeness…

(low five to Gibbs12)

“At Least I’m Not Isiah” Is the Greatest Excuse EVER

Mad props to Mike D’Antoni for realizing that it’s a lot easier to look good at your job when you’re predecessor was a “Gigli”-esque disaster. [Yahoo Sports]

The “Would You Bang Hannah Storm?” Debate Begins Today

After a six year hiatus from the sports world, Hannah Storm is joining the AM Sportscenter team to give the show more of a coffee and bagel sort of feel. The number of “bangability” debates initiated by this move is guaranteed to be staggering. [SportsbyBrooks]

OJ Mayo Was Never Good at the Whole Higher Learning Thing

Class? Fundamentals? Meal Plans? Passing to teammates? Not taking money from people who want to give it to you? A bunch a bullshit if you ask us and/or OJ. [FanHouse]

Our City Has It’s Issues

If you’re interested to dedicating 3:37 of your life to batshit crazy, check out this meltdown on an Atlanta Marta train. Creepy thing is we were two cars over taunting an old man. [YouTube]

(Thanks–we think–to devastatingly awesome reader Bobby for the heads up.)

America Isn’t Completely Devoid of Cinematic Taste

“Speed Racer” and “What Happens in Vegas” rightfully sucked balls in theaters. “Iron Man” still rocks your face. [Variety]

And 13 Year-Old Kids Don’t Know How to Appreciate Hookers

Tremendous story involving teenagers, stolen credit cards, XBox, and unsatisfied hookers. Sounds like our college years. [Holy Taco]

Here’s to making it to next weekend.

“Case of the Mondays” is NextRound’s recap of the weekend that was. Click here for previous editions.

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