Hump Day: Kelly Brook
May 14th, 2008 by NextRound
We mentioned Kelly Brook in yesterday’s Daily Awesomeness and — in doing so — reminded ourselves of our pension for British chicks with huge boobs.
For those of you not familiar, Kelly is moderately famous in the UK and makes her living as a Model/Actress, which is code for “hot and talentless” in the business. We know from the summer we spent as an Abercrombie model.
Kelly’s Hump Day Bio
Age: 28
Height: Tall enough to seem vaguely threatening.
Figure: Shapely.
Amount of Debt You’d Readily Take on to Bang Her: 20K.
Famous For: Looking good in a bathing suit. Having an awesome rack. Being adored by T&A bloggers everywhere.
Places Besides the Internet Where You May Have Seen Her (But Probably Didn’t): WB’s “Smallville” (her super power was pulling off an American accent), her brief role in “The Italian Job” (you were busy trying to figure out if it’s gay to drive a Mini), or the pages of FHM (don’t admit to having a subscription).
Her Fantasy Career Ambition: Being the face of a cosmetics line and playing a Bond girl.
Her Realistic Career Expectation: Marrying some rich dude who owns a cosmetic line and participating in multiple British reality shows.
Dudes She’s Been Linked To: She just broke off her engagement with Billy Zane (our guess is she figured out his career plateaued with his “Zoolander” cameo). Before Zane she dated Jason Statham, causing quite the dilemma for geeky action junkies everywhere when asked if they’d rather bone her or Statham.
Favorite Photo We Found During Our Virtual Stalk Session:
The Time She Met Up with Us in Vegas:
We were so embarrassed when she got on the table and splashed everyone’s chips around.
Fun Facts on Kelly Brook:
- It doesn’t take much initiative to find topless photos of her on the world wide web.
- Has described the real life Jason Statham as a mix between his characters in “Transporter” and “Crank”.
- Made a fortune charging Arab princes to look at her rack.
- Billy Zane took the break up pretty well, telling Kelly, “There’s plenty of tail I can replace you with, but there’s only one Zane. Don’t ever fucking forget it.”
And Our Handpicked Gallery:
Happy Hump Day!
[Sources: Wikipedia, IMDb, Bright Black Internet]
Previous Editions of Hump Day:
“Hump Day” is NextRound’s weekly segment featuring pretty ladies you should get to know. Click here to check out previous editions.
May 14th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2008/05/kelly-brook-and-billy-zane-are-back-together.html