Stock Report following the weekend that was…

STOCK UP: Paul Pierce 40 point games.

Especially when they get some help from the bench, include clutch free throws, and translate to playoff series wins. Pierce once told us he can’t even get his blood pumping unless it’s Game 7…or a bar fight.

STOCK DOWN: Lebron James 40 point games.

45 points is kind of like 5 points when the rest of your team is napping on the charter bus, you don’t hit a basket that matters in the clutch, and you follow up every made shot with a whiny complaint to the refs. That shit is getting a little tired.

UP: Triple Crown Runs.

Big Brown sodomized the rest of the field Saturday at the Preakness, which means two important things: 1) The Belmont Stakes is now relevant and 2) Even more camera time for Kent Desormeaux’s milfy wife. Man, jockeys get all the primo ass.

DOWN: Comatose Puking at the Preakness.

While getting taunted by some drunk chick. This move is just tough to pull off.

[FanHouse]

UP: Pulling a Werth (ripping three dingers in one game).

DOWN: Pulling a Zito (sucking in ways no other pitcher for your organization has ever managed to suck).

UP: Steve Carrell and Ricky Gervais on SNL.

At least for this sketch anyway…

[Gawker]

DOWN: T.O. and Flava Flav on Any Version of Television.

Warning: Once you watch this you can never undo seeing it.

[FanHouse]

UP: PR Moves That Work to Your Advantage.

We’re pretty sure Romo took a week of from monogamy to be awesome, then Jessica took him back in order to avoid the bad press. That’s what happened in the world we want to live in anyway.

ALWAYS DOWN: Your Father-in-Law at Your Bachelor Pary.

“So me and Joe Simpson were hanging out at Pete Wentz’s bachelor party, right? Then Joe says to me, ‘So, are we paying this stripper to dance or to…’”

Oh man, that had to be the worst bachelor party EVER. Like that one from “Very Bad Things”, but substitute in shitty people for shitty plot. [Holy Taco]

Here’s to making it to next weekend.

“Case of the Mondays” is NextRound’s recap of the weekend that was. Click here for previous editions.

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