In Movies:

• “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” opens Thursday. Despite refusing to read reviews and/or acknowledge the Burger King promotion, we’re starting to get a bad vibe that the fourth installment may suck serious ass (see: “Star Wars” prequels). Here’s to hoping we’re wrong like usual (more analysis tomorrow).

• “War, Inc.” in limited release. “War, Inc.” is the new John Cusack dark comedy that looks to be “Gross Pointe Blank” meets “Three Kings” meets a Hilary Duff concert. Expect witty dialogue, liberal undertones, and plenty of internal debate over whether you want to bang the Duffster or not.

• “National Treasure: The Sequel” on DVD. Kind of like the first one, except with supersized cheesy acting. We can think of worse ways to spend a weeknight (see: NHL playoffs).

• “Casino Royale” on Showtime. A bunch. And it still rocks.

In Television:

• “House” Season Finale. Tonight at 9PM. Last week’s part one of the finale was surprisingly excellent, so we expect more of the same tonight.

• “How I Met Your Mother” Season Finale. Tonight at 8:30PM. We are to understand the Britney experiment is over. Time will only tell if that was the show’s official Jump the Shark moment or not.

In the NBA:

• Game 7: Spurs at Hornets. Tonight at 8:30PM. How this game wasn’t played this weekend we’ll never understand, but whatever, should be an awesome. We’re officially casting our lot with Hornets due to home court, our Chris Paul man crush, and our distaste for all things French. Translated: Welcome to the Conference Finals San Antonio!

• Conference Championships. The NBA’s version of the Final Four is all you have left to grasp on to as you slowly sink into Summer Sports Purgatory.

• Draft Lottery: Tuesday Night. Just awkward enough to be fun. Oh, the fickle nature of the ping pong ball.

In Early Adopting:

• The Wii Fit. Because your buddy who’s addicted to Nintendo Wii is also a fitness junkie.

In Funny Videos We Haven’t Seen in Forever:

• Will Ferrell as John Rocker. As unearthed by TBone when searching videos containing “Iron Eagle” references.

And in Random Lady Friends:

• Elsa Pataky. Get to know her.

Email This