10 Little Known Facts About Mike Piazza

May 21st, 2008 by NextRound in Humor, MLB

To the chagrin of fans of gay innuendo jokes everywhere, Mike Piazza announced his retirement yesterday. We feel it’s only fitting we memorialize the best-slugging catcher of all time by making baseless fun of him. Little Known Facts About Mike Piazza:

Since he was selected in the 62nd Round of the ‘88 MLB Draft, Mike regularly refers to Tom Brady as “The NFL’s Version of Mike Piazza”.

He even thinks Mike Piazza’s Strike Zone for Nintendo 64 sucked ass.

Mike is best known outside of baseball for establishing The Piazza Precedent, where a celebrity can call a press conference to pronounce they aren’t gay and then automatically not be gay. Even if they are gay.

The “Warning Track Power” chant officially retired yesterday along with Mike.

When he first heard the allegations that Tommy Lasorda paid for sex, Mike’s initial response was, “With girls?”.

Mike and his former Playmate wife belong to a book club with Jeff Garcia and his former Playmate wife. And there’s nothing to read into that.

Roger Clemens threw the barrel of the bat at Piazza in the World Series due to an eight year premature crack Clemens heard Mike make about Mindy McCready looking like a dude.

Mike’s the only member of the ‘97 Dodgers not to have gotten a piece of Alyssa Milano.

Has been quoted as saying, “Shea Stadium really doesn’t smell as bad as people say. Everyone talks about how it smells like a day old turd when it’s really more like day old cat piss.”