Summer can mean a slow death for those of us who are still awesome and like sports and television. Thankfully, Al Gore invented the DVD. Throughout the summer we’ll be running a series of DVD binge recommendations to help you claw your way to football season. First up: ‘Deadwood’.

Aired: On HBO from 2004-2006.

Genre: Hardcore Pistol Whipping Western. None of that Roy Rogers fairy shit.

Number of Episodes: 36 over 3 seasons.

Estimated Viewing Time: If you’re single and you spend many a weekend hungover, you can knock out all three seasons in approximately two weeks. If you’re tied down and seemed to have misplaced your balls you’re probably looking at a month to a month and a half.

What to Anticipate:

• Gratuitous F-Bombs.
• Gratuitous C-Bombs.
• Artistic use of both F-Bombs and C-Bombs.
• Prostitutes.
• A realistic glimpse into what frontier life in the late 1800’s was like.
• Feeling like you’re a pretty moral person.
• Wondering what your brothel frequency would have been.
• Developing a ginormous man crush on Al Swearengen.

Actors You’ve Heard Of: Probably none. You might recognize Timothy Olyphant from ‘Go’, the ‘Girl Next Door’, and being the worst casting option possible for ‘Hitman’. Also, Powers Boothe has been in a million things including ‘Red Dawn’ and ‘Tombstone’ (playing the immortal Curly Bill).

Coolest & Toughest Character: Al Swearengen (played by seasoned British actor, Ian McShane).

Imagine how cool and tough the coolest and toughest person you know is then multiply that by one trillion and you’re close to Swearengen. He not only IS THE SHOW but he’s also probably one of the top five television characters of all-time (right up there with Costanza and G.O.B. Bluth). Swearengen’s treatment of his hookers employees and his extra imaginative use of the C-bomb are added bonuses.

Lamest Character: Calamity Jane (played by manish actress Robin Weigart).

You know the sloppy drunk chick who refuses to go home? It’s like putting up with that except none of your scumbag friends decides he might as well hook up with her.

Gratuitous Eye Candy: Limited. Unless you’re into really realistic 19th century hookers (i.e. grimy and silicone free). Alma Garrett (played by one of Canadia’s finest, Molly Parker) will grow on you after about 4-5 episodes.

Interesting Side Notes:

• The show is roughly based on the historical accounts of Deadwood, South Dakota shortly after Custer’s Last Stand.

• The F-Bombs and C-Bombs are anachronisms for the time, but creators use them because the actual profanity used in those days would sound ridiculous to modern audiences.

• The guy who plays Doc Cochran is the voice of Chucky.

• Many of the show’s stars have had small roles/guest appearances on ‘Lost’.

• HBO canceled ‘Deadwood’ primarily due to how expensive the sets were to maintain.

• Even though HBO said they’d make two two-hour movies to provide closure to ‘Deadwood’, that’s probably not going to happen.

Most Common Side Effects of Binge:

• Desire to grow a mustache.
• Increased probability of starting a fight with a stranger over “being disrespected.”
• Incomprehensible interest in South Dakota.
• Referring to the people in your life as some version of a filthy whore.

Binge Addiction Level:

• High…if you dig westerns, cursing, standoffs, intricate plot lines, and being exposed to all-encompassing immorality.
• Low…if you’ve ever watched a full episode of Tila Tequila’s reality show.

NextRound’s 1-10 Recommendation : 8 out of 10 (Superior to spending your weeknights rearranging your fantasy baseball roster).

[Sources: IMDb, Wikipedia]

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