Pretty good game last night, huh? Oh, you live on the East Coast and fell asleep in the third quarter? That sucks. Maybe you’ll have more success watching Game 2…which is over two days away…on Sunday…also at 9PM.

Nice to know the NBA is capitalizing on the excitement. With an eternity between games here are few things that could happen before Game 2 tips off:

• Paul Pierce could give up basketball to pursue a career as a faith healer.

• Axl Rose could release Chinese Democracy.

• Your last girlfriend could finally realize that she really did drive you to cheat on her.

• OJ could find the real killer.

• You could start that gym routine.

• Nikki Cox could get hot again.

• That hot chick in your office could forget about the time you farted when you thought you were alone in the break room.

• Ray Allen could drop below Wally Szczerbiak in NBA foot speed.

• James Shields could land a punch.

• NextRound could release the finished version of their site.

• You could get drunk enough to follow Booth’s advise on betting the Belmont.

• Pau Gasol could officially morph into the Cloverfield monster.

• You could give up porn for real this time.

• Steve Irony could rent ‘Atonement’.

• China could come around to Sharon Stone’s way of thinking.

• Jimmy Clausen could lose the remaining wisps he currently calls hair.

• Adam Sandler might make a gazillion dollars off another unfunny movie that’s just a repackaged version of a movie he made five years ago. (Editor’s Note: Shit, that will probably happen.)

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