Five Fun Ways To Remember Michael Strahan

June 10th, 2008 by NextRound in NFL

Sure, you’ll probably see him more now than when he held a spot on the Giants’ roster (especially if he’s doing a studio show during OTAs), but here’s to remembering Michael Strahan from his playing years. We always liked you Mike, so we send you off the only way we know how: by relentlessly making fun of you.

Five fun ways to remember Michael Strahan:

1) As the Guy Who Divorced the Albino.

And. Got. Decimated. To the tune of 15 million. Good times accusations included:

“She accused her husband of beating her, secretly videotaping her sister undressing and carrying on affairs with three different women, including one nicknamed Cupcake (Editor’s Note: 4 Cool Points). He complained that his wife last year spent $22,500 on photographs, $27,000 on clothes for their 20-month-old twin daughters, and $1,700 in sign language classes - even though neither daughter is hearing impaired.”

Divorce is the best.

2) As the Guy Who Made the Phantom Sack.

And is now the single season leader. The whole thing was shady at best. We’re of the opinion that the “Favre is overrated” talk started with this play. We’re also of the opinion that Mark Gastineau’s hot daughter would currently be trying to make something of herself and not leading the life of a soulless reality show skeez had she not witnessed her dad’s one true accomplishment stripped in such a shameful manner.

3) As the Guy Who Got Into a Fight with Tom Arnold.

It had something to do with an April Fool’s prank, which means it was an extra helping of lame and more than enough reason for any pro athlete to come to blows with some washed up ~~actor~~ ~~comedian~~ dude on cable. They shook hands later and Mike told Tom that he really liked him in ‘True Lies’.

4) As the Guy Who Dated Eddie Murphy’s Ex-Wife.

Gotta love Strahan’s taste in the ladies. Dude marries some hippie, then “supposedly” gets involved with the hippie’s photogenic sister, then moves on to Eddie Murphy’s seconds — who we’re sure is both low cost and low maintenance — after his financially devastating divorce. What ever happened to taking advantage of cheerleaders?

5) And of Course, As the Guy who Pulled Off THE GAP.

As evidenced here:

Here:

And here:

THE GAP would cripple 9 out of 10 people’s lives (2 out of 10 in Europe), but Strahan pulled it off with ease. Makes us like him even more (that and his thing for siblings).

Mike, thanks for the good times. Here’s to you being somewhere between Emmitt Smith and Cris Carter as a broadcaster.

[Sources: Wikipedia, SI, NY Times]

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