Just about every time we’ve brought up Carrie Underwood on this site it has had something to do with Tony Romo, which, we suppose, says a lot about us. All it took was a glimpse at how cute/bonerific she looked playing softball the other day for us to realize just how much we’ve overlooked her — and her tremendous stems — on a regular basis.
Carrie, we apologize. Won’t happen again. And here’s a Hump Day tribute to prove it.
Carrie’s Hump Day Bio
Age: 25.
Height: Somewhere between 5′1″ and Chace Crawford.
Figure: Leggy.
Born In: Muskogee, Oklahoma. Also the place of birth of the gay dad from ‘The Brady Bunch’.
Resides In: Nashville.
Amount of Country Music You’d Be Willing to Take in to Bang Her: Alan Jackson’s entire catalog, a Wynonna Judd concert, and multiple trips to the Grand Ole Opry.
Fantasy Career Ambition: Becoming such a massive country star the public forgets she was a contestant on ‘American Idol’.
Realistic Career Expectation: Becoming such a massive country star the public forgets she was a contestant on ‘American Idol’ and that she fell for the “football is my life” line.
Dudes She’s Been Linked To: Two by our count, if you dismiss those backstage rumors about her and Clay Aiken from an ‘Idol’ reunion show.
- Tony Romo. Ah, if we could all only go back to those heady poon-hunting, pre-Joe Simpson days of Romo. Life was so much simpler back then.
- Chace Crawford. You know, that dude from ‘Gossip Girl’ who’s prettier than the prettiest chick you’ve ever hooked up with. Apparently he and Carrie are broken up, but is the break up of a beard arrangement technically a break up?
Fun Facts on Carrie Underwood:
- It’s scientifically documented that the curvature of her nose makes her seem three times bitchier than she really is.
- 9 out of 10 dudes surveyed say they’d be OK if Before He Cheats was never written.
- When Carrie and Chace shook hands over their beard dating arrangement Chace immediately asked her for the name of her hand moisturizer.
- If Carrie ever learns to control the hypnotic powers of her legs there would be no stopping her.
Battle of Random Pictures:
Carrie and 50 Cent
versus
Carrie and Vince Neil
Word is both 50 and Vince brought up anal in under 45 seconds.
And Our Handpicked Gallery:
Happy Hump Day!
[Sources: On 205th, Wikipedia]
Previous Editions of Hump Day:
“Hump Day” is NextRound’s weekly segment featuring pretty ladies you should get to know. Click here to check out previous editions.
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