Regardless of where you choose to call home you almost definitely know a masshole. They’re everywhere. It’s like Massachusetts commissions a portion of their population to leave the state each year and establish residence in metro areas across the country. They’re kind of like missionaries, except for instead of spreading the word of god they spread the word of Manny and Brady and Pierce’s wickedness.

But as we’ve documented before the Masshole Heydey is upon us. And with the Celtics about to win the championship, the Red Sox running away with the AL East, and the Patriots still being the Patriots, the universe doesn’t look to be rectifying itself any time soon. If anything the universe is laughing its balls off at the rest of us.

As always, we’re here to pull you through the harsh times. Here are some lines you can use to keep the masshole in your life in check.

• “It was just TYREE BEING TYREE.”

• “To me the ‘The Bloody Sock’ will forever be ‘The Bloody Tampon’.”

• “Met this chick the other night. She was like a Boston 19. And her friend was even hotter.”

• “It was Jimmy Fallon who really opened my eyes to what it’s truly like to be a hardcore Sox fan.”

• “I liked Good Will Hunting but I could have done without all the homoeroticism.”

• “I know I don’t live in Pennsylvania but I’m seriously considering donating to the Arlen Specter campaign.”

• “I didn’t have pubes when they started the Big Dig.”

• “Don’t you kind of feel like Danny Ainge is the NBA’s Shia LaBeouf?”

• “Just curious. Wes Welker, giver or taker?”

• “How much does it bother you that Tom Brady knows what Leo DiCaprio’s dick tastes like?”

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