You’d think the number of times we’ve been bombarded by Love Guru previews we’d be desensitized by now, but no, that’s not the case. Nope, every single GD time we see a preview for that surefire Hindenburg of a movie we feel a pang of disappointment for what Mike Myers has become.

We’re not sure if it’s arrogance or laziness or that he just doesn’t have it anymore, but whatever it is, the precipitous decline is remarkably similar to that of an NFL running back. One in particular…

Name

Mike Myers______Shaun Alexander

Profession

Comedian / Movie Star______Football Player / NFL Network Applicant

Place of Origin

Canada__________A weird part of Kentucky that might as well be Canada

Early Success

Accepted into Second City right out of high school______”Mr. Football” Kentucky

Next Big Step

Saturday Night Live when it was good______SEC Football when Bama was good

Made a Name for Himself

Coining “that’s what she said” on Wayne’s World______Dropping 291 yards on LSU

As a gay German in Sprockets______As the Crimson Tide’s all-time rushing leader

Playing Phillip the Hyper Hypo______Taking part in Bama’s last SEC Championship

All the Success Leads To

Feature films______Being the 17th overall pick

Good but Not Great

Wayne’s World the movie______Rookie season behind Ricky Watters

Dude Might Be Brilliant

Austin Powers makes some pee come out______D-knifes the league for 16 TDs

Success Overload

Makes a gazillion dollars for the Austin Powers sequels______2005 NFL MVP

Makes another gazillion for making noises into a microphone______Super Bowl XL

How You Felt About the Guy

Would watch him floss______Would punch a stranger to get him on your fantasy team

The Precipitous Decline Begins

Michael Caine is the funniest part of Austin Powers 3______The Madden ‘07 cover

They Lose It in Cougar-esque Fashion

Cat in the Hat is a creepy disaster______Misses half of ‘06 with fractured foot

And Now They’re Dead to Me

Shrek becomes an animated ATM______Plays ‘07 season w/ shoelaces tied together

Makes The Love Guru______Gets cut by the Seahawks

Willing to go on Al Jazeera to shill his new flick______Begging the Bengals to sign him

[Source: Wikipedia, here and here]

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