Far too many people are under the impression that Dave Coulier died in the 90’s. And seeing that that’s just something we refuse to accept we’re here to catch you up on the life and times of everyone’s favorite Full House uncle not named Jesse.

Demonstrating that the easiest venue to pick up high school chicks is their own cafeteria…

A night out with the other members of the Panty Dropper’s Society - West Coast Chapter.

Later that same night…

Letting Mary Kate in on the secret that the real reason Alanis Morisette was so upset about their breakup is in his pants…

His go to face whenever the audience asks him about Alanis…

The time two random dudes asked to take the picture of a lifetime…

The next time two random dudes asked to take the picture of a lifetime…

When Bob Saget outed him for shaving his balls…

And how Bob keeps the legend alive…

The show he and a couple other talented guys are currently pitching the networks…

Sprinkling a little Coulier magic on uber cougar Lori Laughlin…

The time his agent scored that coup and got him the gig at the minor league baseball stadium…

Wondering how the hell he ever wanted to bang Nancy Kerrigan…

The time he urinated on a stripper at a local radio station…

Participating in the NHL’s “Hockey Is Still Cool” initiative…

Finally realizing his lifetime dream of meeting the Fonz…

The picture the chick who played Stephanie sent him for his birthday…

His immediate reaction…

And finally, seconds before he haymakered a studio exec proposing a Full House reunion show where Uncle Joey marries Kimmy…

And you thought the guy was dead.

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