maintaining awesomeness
one day at a time

June 24, 2008 will forever be remembered as the day the Shaq freestyle video consumed the internet. But while everyone else is discussing Shaq dissing Kobe we’d like to spend some time dissecting Shaq’s other lyrics. We have six — count ‘em, six — burning questions:1) Should the rap community allow Shaq to make a Biggie comparison? Seems like when Shaq’s on the mic he should be relegated to making reference to no one more successful than Bubba Sparks.

2) Who should be more offended? White boys, homeless cats, Kareem, or Patrick Ewing?

3) Is it just us or does repeatedly asking some dude to “tell me how my ass tastes” suggest a proclivity for ambiguous prison-style salad tossing?

4) Using Shaq’s logic is a guy named Steve more likely to give a mil to a bitch than a guy named Shaquille? What about a dude named Jason?

5) Talent aside, has “vasectomy” ever been so well integrated into any lyric? Doubt it.

6) Anyone else feel like tracking down Hakeem Olajuwon and forcing him to record the Shaq, How’s My Ass Taste? follow up? It could be the I’m F-ing Matt Damon phenomenon all over again.

[H/T: Awful Announcing]

Email This


Post a Comment