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Judging A Movie By Its Trailer: RocknRolla


June 25th, 2008 by NextRound

In this installment of JAMBIT we’re taking a look at the recently released trailer for Guy Ritchie’s new flick, RocknRolla.

Like everyone, we think Lock, Stock is awesome. But we also think Snatch is just as good. It’s after those two where Ritchie’s resume starts looking a little dicey. And by “dicey” we mean “inconceivably miserable“.

What We Know:

  • Guy Ritchie is trying to get back to what he does best, and that’s definitely a good thing.
  • Madonna is supposedly dumping Ritchie, and if true it’s the biggest favor she could ever do him.
  • Gerard Butler could tell us to give meth a try and we’d probably do it.
  • Tom Wilkinson makes everything better (see: Michael Clayton, Batman Begins, and John Adams).
  • We’re incapable of pinpointing just how hot Thandie Newton is.
  • Ludacris is a surprisingly solid actor, and we’re not just saying that because we like the I Got Hoes video so much.
  • British people are funny.

What We Can Guess:

  • We won’t be able to watch a scene with Piven in it without getting distracted by his hat.
  • Gerard Butler’s character will remind us a lot of ourselves and not remind anyone else of us.
  • We’ll miss a quarter of the dialogue the first time around because of the accents.
  • You can’t trust Russians.
  • Several misunderstandings will drive the plot.
  • Your mom is gentle. (Heh, heh.)

What’s Unclear:

  • If the Madonna / Guy Ritchie split will lift the curse that’s currently on him.
  • Whether that painting is so popular because it gives out hummers.
  • Why they felt the need to throw the shirtless dude shot into the trailer.
  • If open hand slapping someone is as fun as it looks.

Actually, we’re pretty sure the open hand slap is as fun as it looks.
[H/T: Film Drunk]

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