All-Time Awkward David Stern Draft Handshakes
June 27th, 2008 by NextRound
If we had to name one reason we watch the NBA Draft — outside of pinpointing exactly why certain picks suck — we’d have to say we do it for the awkward David Stern handshakes. Here are our all-time favorites:
The one from this year where Stern asked Robin Lopez, “How the hell did you ever bag Michelle Wie?”
The one where Hakeem showed up in his tux and Stern showed up in his stache.
The one where Stern checked Petteri Koponen’s oil. It was a quart low.
The one from this year where Stern asked OJ Mayo, “Who invited Poindexter?”
The one where LaMarcus Aldridge made Stern wear a Texas hat even though David Stern fucking hates Texas.
The one where Kwame Brown got hug-another-dude excited about guaranteed money.
The one where Joakim Noah cut his career earning potential in half.
The one where Stern told Andrea Bargnani “It’s true. All Europeans walk with a stick up their ass.”
The one where Stern and Iverson weren’t sure who was supposed to wear the jersey. Stern eventually wore the jersey.
The one where Yi Jianlian hated Milwaukee. Stern later shipped him every season of Happy Days on DVD.
The one where Stern asked Jalen Rose “Who shot the couch?”
The one where Stern pointed out to DeMarr Johnson the chick he was going to bang later.
The one where Stern welcomed Nikoloz Tskitishvili to the US with a UFC-style arm bar.
The one where Derek Anderson wore his Saturday Night Fever suit.
The one where they both thought Jay Williams would have a long, fruitful career.
The one where Drew Gooden tried to pass off a CSI lab jacket as his suit jacket.
And the one where Olivier Saint-Jean came on stage with his dong out. It was awkward.
And you were busy paying attention to Stephen A. Smith couch interviews.
June 27th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Joakim Noah’s fingers may be larger than Stern’s dick, holy shit
June 27th, 2008 at 10:02 am
The Olajuwon picture is classic.
June 27th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Where is the one with Ewing??????????
Stern: “Who would have thought, you’d be #1, good to see you, not too hard on the shake though, a little freezer burn from a few weeks ago”
June 27th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Believe us, we looked. No handshake. This the best we could find:
http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/knicks/docs/images/6ev07klk.jpg
June 27th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
more on ewing if you haven’t seen it, go to you tube and watch as stern brings out his minion from the accounting firm,
I think it is the fourth envelope, the first three go in nice and easy, and that fourth one gets a “spirited” slam agains the bubble, and the corner of it is dented, Stern grabs for the corner of the envelope when he brings it out, just making sure I think. hahaahahaha
June 27th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
LaMarcus Aldridge “made Stern where a Texas hat”, huh? At least Aldridge didn’t make Stern “wear” a hat. But, you have to feel good about yourself that you spelt “fucking” correctly. That’s got to count for something.
June 27th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
“The one where they both thought Jay Williams would have a long, fruitful career.”
You owe me a new monitor after that.
June 27th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Corrected, Eugene. Thanks for the attention to detail.
June 27th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Does Bargnani confuse “their” and “there” because he is Italian or is it the writer’s mistake?
June 27th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Also corrected. Thanks.
June 27th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
The best draft moment ever was when Priest Lauderdale came running out of the stands and on stage when his name was called.
June 27th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Does Eugene get to criticize your spelling, and still write “…that you spelt ‘fucking’ correctly”? It’s “spelled”. Does that make you the pot or the kettle?
June 27th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
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