Married Guy Translated: Dinner With Her Friends
June 27th, 2008 by NextRound
Having to go out to dinner with his wife’s friend and her husband is the latest installment of the trials and tribulations of the Married Guy…
What Married Guy Says: “Really glad we could get together tonight.”
What Married Guy Means: “I can’t even tell you how much I’d rather spend my Friday night on my couch in my underwear.”
Says: “So Steve, how’s work?”
Means: “Steve, you fucking loser, I’m being polite. If you give me an answer longer than two sentences I swear I’ll drag you in the men’s room and introduce your face to porcelain.”
Says: “The portions here are good sized so we can probably hold off on appetizers.”
Means: “I need to get away from you weirdos as soon as humanly possible.”
Says: “Yeah, I thought about going with the raspberry martini too but then decided I was just in a beer mood.”
Means: “Steve, that is the GD gayest drink order I have ever seen.”
Says: “No, we haven’t seen Fool’s Gold but we’ve heard good things. We’ll have to check it out.”
Means: “It’s people like you that make me hate so much.”
Says: “I’m pretty sure that’s a type of fish.”
Means: “I’m pretty sure that’s a type of fish you fucking moron.”
Says: “We’ll eventually have kids but it’s still way down the road.”
Means: “My pull out technique is flawless.”
Says: “Waiter, if you see this beer less than half full get me another one.”
Means: “Waiter, if you see this beer less than half full get another one.”
Says: “Yeah, I’m excited for the Olympics too, but football season can never get here fast enough.”
Means: “You lameasses would be excited for the Olympics. I’m fine with falling into a coma tomorrow if it means I wake up on Labor Day weekend.”
Says: “I just haven’t been able to get into The Bachelorette.”
Means: “I surf for porn in the other room when she watches that garbage.”
Says: “That’s crazy you don’t know who Javon Walker is.”
Means: “Steve, you’ve just graduated from dork to crippling douchebag.”
Says: “This was fun, we’ll have to do it again some time.”
Means: “If I see you people again in the next six months I better be getting a blow job out of it.”
