Deep down we’ve known for some time Mario Lopez is quite the douchebag, but due to our ironic and nostalgic appreciation for all things AC Slater we’ve been unwilling to fully admit this to ourselves. But after a couple of week’s worth of Lopez sucktitude we’ve finally come to the conclusion that AC Slater and Mario Lopez will never be one in the same ever again.

Here are the three different ways Super Mario made our decision for us…

1) Shirtlessness

We’re not confident enough in our own sexuality to post shirtless pictures of Mario Lopez on NextRound so we’ve gone with the “Who has two thumbs, a jump rope, and likes to train like 1920’s boxer?” photo for this article. We are willing however to link to this Gawker piece on how Mario has officially overtaken McConaughey as the Most Shirtless Man in America. Pretty intriguing stuff, if you’re looking for someone to punch on a Friday that is.

We were at the grocery store the other day (not buying condoms) and spotted TWO separate magazine covers featuring a shirtless Lopez. That was the beginning of the end.

This is the only way we want to remember AC Slater shirtless. (Editor’s Warning: super gay but at the same time super hysterical, view at your own risk.)

2) Mocking Homeless People

It’s one thing to ignore homeless people and wish them out of your town, but it’s another thing altogether to outright mock them for sleeping on the street. They’re homeless, it kind of comes with the territory.

Thanks to Don Chavez for the eye-opening find.

3) Broadway Cat Fights with Gay Men

In case you are unaware, Lopez’s primary means of paying for super enriched whey protein is dancing on Broadway’s “A Chorus Line”, the least gay of all Broadway musicals (just kidding, it’s actually the most gay). And the only non-shirtlessness related thing Mario has made headlines for recently is his catty fued with a co-star over whether they should wear sleaveless shirts our not during the show, which is, technically, still about shirtlessness.

That’s as much of that story as we’re willing to delve into but you get the idea: Slater is dead and Lopez is a turd. Deal with it.

Now feel free to go out an punch someone.

Previous Editions of PITFF:

• Five Reasons Hank Steinbrenner Sucks
• Hulk Hogan Cheapens Our Childhood
• Rick Dutrow and His Quest to Ruin the Triple Crown for Us
• Joe Simpson Proves Douchiness Has No Age Limit
• Nick Cannon’s Play for Relevance

Punch in the Face Friday is our weekly segment dedicated to mocking the person who sucked the most in any given week. Click here to check out the PITFF archives. Click here to email us a nominee.

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