If you’re hitting the beach on the 4th it’s important you stay active and don’t just lay in the sand soaking up sun like some goon whose primary objective is even color. Your primary objective — like on all holidays — should be finding an entertaining way to get drunk.

And while there are plenty of activities to keep you busy at the beach there are only a few that are both enjoyable AND won’t spill your beer. Here are our favorites:

Beach Bocce Ball

The ancient Italian game just as the creators intended, except with a lot more beer and a lot less rules.

The Basics: Divide into groups (single players or two person teams), each represented by a different color ball. Score a point if you toss your colored ball closest to the small white marker ball.

Beverage Compatibility. High. Beer in non-dominate hand at all times. Unless you’re overcompensating for something your beer is rarely threatened.

Chick Ruinage Factor: Medium. Girls will occasionally want to play but unlike a lot of activities they can participate without completely ruining the game.

Overall Score: 5 out of 5. Team Cool & Tough’s beach game of choice. An ideal blend of beach, booze, and competition with the added bonus of unlimited “ball” jokes.

Horseshoes

The old faithful of beer oriented beach activities.

The Basics: If you don’t know how to throw horseshoes, please visit this site.

Beverage Compatibility: High. Limited movement. High fives and aggressive tosses can sometimes lead to spillage.

Chick Ruinage Factor: Low. There’s something about iron horseshoes and iron stakes that keeps the ladies away. You know you’ve got a real clinger if she begs to participate instead of reading US Weekly.

Overall Score: 4 out of 5. Only real negative is being limited to four people, meaning if you suck you could end up sitting out for extended periods of time.

Beach Golf

A tremendously lazy way to burn hours at the beach while also working on your ability to read breaks.

The Basics: Dig two sets of three holes 10 to 15 feet apart from each other. Holes on each side should be large, medium, and small, representing 1 under, 2 under, and 3 under, respectively. Sit in beach chairs and take horseshoe-like turns attempting to roll golf balls into the holes. First to 15 under wins.

Beverage Compatibility: High. Seated competition rarely leads to spillage. The accidental kick over is the biggest threat.

Chick Ruinage Factor: High. They’ll see you playing and think it looks like fun due to the lack of physical exertion. Then they’ll suck at it.

Overall Score: 3 out of 5. Ease of play is somewhat offset by females wanting in.

Half Rubber

Baseball for the alcoholic beach bum in all of us.

The Basics: It’s baseball with a broom handle and half a red rubber ball (more here). Some Tuesday night softball sluggers try and take it seriously, but the cool and tough version involves zero running and a beer in hand unless you’re batting (or even if you are batting if you’re really awesome).

Beverage Compatibility: Medium. High when you’re in the field or on deck. Low when batting. Some spillage is almost guaranteed when you field a ball.

Chick Ruinage Factor: Medium. They usually don’t want to participate because the game looks hard, but if one decides to their at bats can be disastrous.

Overall Score: 3 out of 5. Even when molding the game for the least amount of physical exertion you end up exerting far more energy than with any of the others. Play also requires at least ten people.

Editor’s Note: Sunscreen and boiled peanuts are optional for all activities, but we highly recommend the peanuts. We’ll be back on Monday. Have an awesome 4th.

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