First of all, there just aren’t many. Chicks that is. In Batman movies. The male/female ratios is like 10 to 1. And then on top of that it’s hard to argue that the talent pool is anything short of underwhelming. We just have to assume Bruce Wayne’s ladies on the side bring a little more to the table in the eye candy department.

Do not fret though. We made it happen. Sort of…

9) Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel Dawes. She has to be included because she’s the only primary character in The Dark Night without a Y chromosome, right? Right? Well, at least she’s supposed to be able to act…AND Heath Ledger is going to rock your face.

8 ) Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. More embarrassing to have on your resume: Batman & Robin or My Super Ex-Girlfriend? Whenever we meet Uma we plan to force feed her champagne and find out.

7) Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. Maybe it’s how much the movie sucked, maybe it’s how dumb this picture looks, or maybe it’s just the way her mouth doesn’t move when she talks, but whatever it is this is as high as we can rank Alicia.

6) Nicole Kidman as Dr. Chase Meridian. We’re not looking to take Nicole home any time soon, but you have to admit she cleaned up pretty good in 1995.

5) Julie Newmar as Catwoman. Old school, bitches! Julie Newmar used to bring it in the Batman TV show. And that was back in the time before fakies so she gets bonus points. We would have definitely banged her well into her forties. OK, sixties.

4) Elle MacPhearson as Julie Madison. We can’t even verify that Elle had a speaking role in her Batman appearance, but we can verify that she played a significant role in our transition into adulthood.

3) Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes. Psychotic marriage, Scientology, suicidal career choices, and acting ability aside, we’ve always had a thing for Joey from Dawson’s.

2) Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. Full body leather will pretty much get you into the top two of any list we make. Unless you’re overweight. Or a dude.

1) Kim Basinger as Vicki Vale. This was Kim in her pre-Baldwin hotness prime. If we owned a blow up doll we’d name her Vicki Vale. If.

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