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What Type Of NCAA ‘09 Player Are You?

July 16th, 2008 by NextRound

EA Sports’ introduction of its NCAA Football game each summer marks a significant milepost indicating that college football season isn’t an unbearable distance away. There are several different types of people who play NCAA ‘09. Which one are you?

I Am My Quarterback Player

  • You benched your school’s starter and created a dynasty with yourself behind center. And why not? You’ve got a laser rocket arm.
  • You prefer to play solo but on occasion you’ll whoop a friend’s ass.
  • Your college football knowledge is limited to what the programmers included in the game.

Needed a Two Week Fix Player

  • NCAA Football is the only reason you own a game system.
  • You’re a college football junkie. Every summer is the same. You finish memorizing preseason magazines just in time to dust off your Playstation and buy NCAA the day it releases.
  • Novice gameplay gets you to August camp and your subscription website takes you home from there.

Alma Mater Player

  • The first thing you do after unwrapping NCAA is set your team’s fight song as the default music.
  • You play with your school and your school only, anything else would be blasphemy.
  • You run a dual quarterback and/or dual running back system just like your coaches will this season. Defensive substitutions are in line with your coordinator’s philosophy.

Multi-Player Only Player

  • You LOVE NCAA Football but think solo play might as well be World of Warcraft.
  • If your friends aren’t around you make your girlfriend play you. And then you skunk her 70-0 to teach her a lesson.

My Buddy Has It Player

  • Why would you buy a video game — or a system for that matter — when you can just go over to your buddy’s place?
  • You don’t take hints well and are often told point blank you have to leave.
  • You get unreasonably bullshit whenever three of you are over and you have to sit out.

Only Knows Numbers Player

  • You’re a gamer, through and through. You’d rather spend football Saturdays this fall playing NCAA ‘09 than watching the actual games.
  • Unless you’re Tebow and Florida you refer to all of players by their numbers because you have zero roster knowledge.
  • You appreciate the fact that Kirk Herbstreit can use his real name.

Doesn’t Know How to Option Player

  • You’re the guy who agrees to play even though he really doesn’t want to.
  • College football and video games aren’t your bag; Lord of the Rings is.
  • Option plays lead to sack after sack because you have no clue how to pitch the ball.

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6 Responses to “What Type Of NCAA ‘09 Player Are You?”

  1. Ed Chesny Says:
    July 17th, 2008 at 1:29 am

    What they need is the “Only Throws Deep Player”, which I will admit that I am.
    1. Technical knowledge of controller stopped at the N64 level.
    2. Only wants to know what the ’sprint’ and ‘pass’ buttons are before playing.
    3. Doesn’t play defense because you just want to get the ball back to try and score again.

    You could also callit the “1999 St. Louis Rams Player”

  2. ryan Says:
    July 17th, 2008 at 4:44 am

    Incredible Hulk Player
    -”you don’t want to make me angry”, getting his ass beat and getting pissed
    -turns green, and slams his own controller on the floor, stands up, and stomps on it
    -scares his friends kid into never wanting to come back
    -realizes 360 controller is $40
    -shrinks, gets back normal color, calls another friend and asks to borrow his contoller
    -loses 54 to 24

  3. NextRound Says:
    July 17th, 2008 at 5:38 am

    Those are both solid. Nice work.

  4. JeremyFritz Says:
    July 17th, 2008 at 11:38 am

    I definitely agree with the Long Ball Player. Although I would add running with the athletic qb once the other player figures out what you’re doing and plays a prevent defense.

  5. Eddie Says:
    July 21st, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    I am:

    ‘Only Throws the Deep Ball Player’ - it may lead to many interceptions, but I’d rather throw the equivalent of a punt than get that five-yard quick slant taken back to the house.

    ‘Alma Mater Player’ - Mississippi State first, everyone else afterwards.

    ‘One-Trick Pony Player’ - I usually go with only a couple of plays, and more often than not, they work, even at Heisman level.

    If it works, why not keep doing it?

  6. matt Says:
    July 24th, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    The Steve Lattimer(the program)

    1. on defense only call blitzes and play as d-end or outside linebacker.
    2. consider it a crock if said olb or d-end dont win the heisman,
    3. Keep track of injured quarterbacks for the year(35)
    4. #1 goal gett the other team to put a non qb in

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