Harold & Kumar 2 follows the cross country adventures of the pot-smoking duo as they attempt to outrun authorities who suspect them of being terrorists after they try to sneak a bong aboard their flight to Amsterdam. (It is pretty much down hill from there.)

This movie is so fucking stupid it is brilliant. Let me list the ways…

• It’s an inspiration to functioning potheads everywhere.

• It introduces a smokeless bong. I would pretty much empty my bank account for one of those.

• They invent awesome phrases like “cockmeat sandwich” that I will be using early and often.

• The Rob Corddry / Ed Helms combo is AWESOME.

• Gratuitous Doogie Houser MD shoutouts are the best.

This list could go one for miles and miles. And it will…

• Inbred farmers.

• A freaky cyclops

• DID I MENTION NPH taking shrooms and being kick ass?

• I don’t see how they could have worked in more nudity without being categorized as soft porn at Blockbuster.

Things I Thought While Watching H & K 2:

1) Neal Patrick Harris was the funniest person in Undercover Brother.

2) Denise Richards is soooo fucking hot.

3) Where the hell did Neve Campbell’s weird looking ass disappear to?

4) Why was she ever considered hot?

5) Not that I wouldn’t slay her right here and now.

6) I wonder if my Wild Things DVD is still in the cabinet?

7) YES!!!

**Stops H & K 2 only to restart it five minutes later.

And Here comes the Ladies:

Danneel Harris. Smoking hot and so very worthy of a headboard pounding. Here’s proof (click to enlarge):

And of course Paula Garces. Where you have seen her? THE G D Shield, bitch. Where she was just waiting to get “run through” by Vic “The Man” Mackey.

IRONY’S STAR RATING: 5 Stars

That’s right mutha fuckers. You read it here first. 5 STARS: 1 Star for the Asian, 1 Star for the Paky, 2 Stars for NPH, and a final STAR for the perfect storm of AWESOME that follows.

This is a quality rental and a great buy if you’re into weed humor (if you’re not then feel free to rent How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and blow your boyfriend). If you liked the first Harold & Kumar then you will love this one. It is the same and MORE, much more. Listen to me carefully: WATCH THIS MOVIE.

(Note: I highly recommend NOT asking your wife if she’s in the mood for a “cockmeat sandwich.” You won’t laugh as much as you will.)

Previous Editions of Mindless Movies:

• The Bank Job
• Drillbit Taylor
• NT 2: Book of Secrets
• Jumper
• RAMBO

Steve Irony is Team Cool & Tough’s resident shitty cinema expert and premature family man. Enjoy his regular contributions and please take his opinions with a grain of salt.

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