EA Sports’ introduction of its NCAA Football game each summer marks a significant milepost indicating that college football season isn’t an unbearable distance away. There are several different types of people who play NCAA ’09. Which one are you?

I Am My Quarterback Player

  • You benched your school’s starter and created a dynasty with yourself behind center. And why not? You’ve got a laser rocket arm.
  • You prefer to play solo but on occasion you’ll whoop a friend’s ass.
  • Your college football knowledge is limited to what the programmers included in the game.

Needed a Two Week Fix Player

  • NCAA Football is the only reason you own a game system.
  • You’re a college football junkie. Every summer is the same. You finish memorizing preseason magazines just in time to dust off your Playstation and buy NCAA the day it releases.
  • Novice gameplay gets you to August camp and your subscription website takes you home from there.

Alma Mater Player

  • The first thing you do after unwrapping NCAA is set your team’s fight song as the default music.
  • You play with your school and your school only, anything else would be blasphemy.
  • You run a dual quarterback and/or dual running back system just like your coaches will this season. Defensive substitutions are in line with your coordinator’s philosophy.

Multi-Player Only Player

  • You LOVE NCAA Football but think solo play might as well be World of Warcraft.
  • If your friends aren’t around you make your girlfriend play you. And then you skunk her 70-0 to teach her a lesson.

My Buddy Has It Player

  • Why would you buy a video game — or a system for that matter — when you can just go over to your buddy’s place?
  • You don’t take hints well and are often told point blank you have to leave.
  • You get unreasonably bullshit whenever three of you are over and you have to sit out.

Only Knows Numbers Player

  • You’re a gamer, through and through. You’d rather spend football Saturdays this fall playing NCAA ’09 than watching the actual games.
  • Unless you’re Tebow and Florida you refer to all of players by their numbers because you have zero roster knowledge.
  • You appreciate the fact that Kirk Herbstreit can use his real name.

Doesn’t Know How to Option Player

  • You’re the guy who agrees to play even though he really doesn’t want to.
  • College football and video games aren’t your bag; Lord of the Rings is.
  • Option plays lead to sack after sack because you have no clue how to pitch the ball.
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