Fantasy football drafts will be kicking into gear over the next couple of weeks, and while running backs are the most valuable players, quarterbacks are still the face of your fantasy franchise. We can’t all draft Tom Brady, which means you’re more than likely going to be stuck with one of these guys. And drafting these guys is weird.

Brodie Croyle, Kansas City Chiefs. Is it the Bama bangs? Or maybe the wicked case of slack jaw? Or maybe it’s simply his ability to hit cornerbacks right in the numbers? Regardless, unless starting him on your fantasy roster translates to you getting to third base with his wife, drafting Croyle is nothing short of weird.

Brett Favre, New York Jets. Yep, he’s a Jet. Think you got tired of Favre stories this summer? Good luck sitting through Jets’ games this season.

Jeff Garcia, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Quotes like, “I’m going to choke it to death until somebody pulls my grip off it,” haven’t led you to believe Garcia is any less in the closet.

Derek Anderson, Cleveland Browns. You actually kind of like ole Horse Balls, but the proposition of having to “handcuff” Brady Quinn is a scary one.

Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh Steelers. Sure, Big Braindead is great to tool on, but rooting for the guy’s success week in and week out is kind of like rooting for someone to win the lottery twice.

Tarvaris Jackson, Minnesota Vikings. Analysts feeling the need to toss in “in spite of Tarvaris Jackson” every time they mention their expectations for the Vikings this season isn’t all that comforting. Why can’t you draft Peterson to play QB?

Vince Young, Tennessee Titans. The poo flicking throwing motion. The partying shirtless with other dudes. And the wide receiver corp that resemble your intramural squad from college. What’s not to like?

Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers. His career being forever poisoned by Favre’s indecision aside, the amount of time Rodgers has rocked a flavor saver throughout his life is reason enough to make you uncomfortable.

Rex Grossman OR Kyle Orton, Chicago Bears. Pick your poison. We think Rex is awesome, you’re the one that thinks he sucks. And Kyle? Well, Kyle likes neck beards and mediocre looking chicks. There’s no condoning that.

Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons. A rookie quarterback with a crappy offensive line and a subtle lisp should make anyone uncomfortable.

JaMarcus Russell, Oakland Raiders. Is he under three bills yet? Does he still play for the Raiders? Is Robert Gallery still protecting his blindside? Does that coat come in home black?

Jon Kitna, Detroit Lions. How many consecutive years now has god come down from heaven to tell him the Lions are going to win 10 games?

Philip Rivers, San Diego Chargers. Might have the best statistical season of anyone on this list, but watching him go Jed Clampett on the sideline is more than most reasonable NFL fans can bear.

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