Three Quick Steps To Getting America Behind The Olympics

August 11th, 2008 by NextRound in Awesomest Thing, Sports

Step 1: Pit Team USA against the French.

Step 2: Have French Olympian say things like, “The Americans? We’re going to smash them.”

Step 3: Engineer comeback win over France for gold metal.

It’s that easy. We readily admitted this morning that we didn’t take in much Olympic action over the weekend, which was our loss since we missed USA Swimming rally from behind to beat the French in the 4×100 free relay. It was pretty much the greatest moment ever in Olympic history. All because French swimmer Alain Bernard made the above comments and then subsequently got beat in the final leg of the relay.

Just reading the story lifted our Olympic interest from lukewarm to “Eat that France!”. We’re pretty sure it will go down in history as the moment all of America got behind the 2008 Olympics. Because if there’s one thing every American can agree on it’s their dislike for the French. In the States it’s treason, punishable by death, not to dislike the French. Booth’s a lawyer. We know stuff like that.

So thank you Alain Bernard. Thank you for having a wimpy name and a douchey accent and for lighting a fire underneath the US of A. You’re legacy is one of a goat, but we’ll always remember you as a hero.

Update: Now with video after the jump thanks to With Leather: