Tropic Thunder opens today and will — by all accounts — be a big hit. And you know what that means: sequels, prequels, spin-offs, and rip-offs. Here are a few things we hear are already in the works.

Hawaiian Tropic Thunder. The only consistent complaint from audiences who have screened Tropic Thunder is that there aren’t enough girls in bikinis. We haven’t seen the movie yet, but we wholeheartedly agree. The studio will be looking to answer this deficiency by setting the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Pageant in the backdrop of the sequel. We’re already in.

Tropic Thunder in Paradise. Do you miss the Thunder in Paradise TV show as much as we do? Anyone else smell a Hulk Hogan/Jack Black buddy action comedy in the not so distant future? Hollywood certainly won’t be able to pass up this golden opportunity to reinvigorate a franchise. And by Hollywood, we of course mean Hollywood Hogan.

Iron Man 2: The Sequel. Our Tinseltown insiders have informed us that producers behind Iron Man are so impressed with Robert Downey Jr. in black face they’re considering giving him Terrence Howard’s part in the sequel. The move will save some cash and further cement RDJ’s ability to carry a movie.

Tropic Thunder from Down Under. We don’t get laid enough to feel comfortable posting pictures of the actual Thunder from Down Under Vegas show on our site, but click here if you’re low on prophylactics and want to check it out. In this sequel pitch the cast gets fooled into thinking they’re filming a movie about male strippers when they actually are male strippers. Hilarious. Think 90 minutes of the Chris Farley Chippendale’s sketch.

Simple Jack: The Movie. Sure, the war over “retard” is currently raging, but producers are confident moviegoers will find the clips of Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder so intriguing and endearing it may warrant its own feature film. A prequel of sorts. About retards.

Other Potential Byproducts:

Days of Tropic Thunder. The Tom Cruise cameo in Tropic Thunder is getting so much good buzz, Cruise may want to capitalize on the positive PR with a movie spin-off of his own. We hear NASCAR is already on board.

The Caucasian Asian. A Robert Downey Jr. solo project where his character jumps even further into the portrayal of different races by taking on the role of a Japanese kamikaze fighter in a WWII epic. Get excited.

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