15 Things College Football Fan Doesn’t Want To Hear With Less Than Two Weeks To Kickoff
August 19th, 2008 by NextRound
1) That Mark May predicted his team to win 10 or more games. Kiss. Of. Death.
2) That his entire team has crabs jock itch. Have they been holding scrimmages down by the docks?
3) That Pam Ward is announcing his team’s season opener. Brutal.
4) That his alma mater is still Duke.
5) That his school’s mediocre quarterback is getting better at taking sacks instead of throwing the ball to the other team.
6) That his season’s hopes ride on the dandruff dusted shoulders of Jimmy Clausen.
7) That his team’s left tackle is already done for the year.
8 ) That he’s Central Michigan Alumni. Are these tailgating rules or the prison rules from Oz?
9) That his offensive line will be OK once they develop some chemistry. Are these guys looking to settle down together or block for the running game?
10) That his team’s two best quarterbacks have a ten thousand dollar bet on who can get more injured.
11) That Mark May called his team a national championship darkhorse. Worst. Jinx. Ever.
12) That the 2012 stadium renovations should really improve recruiting.
13) That his new coach thinks it will only take three years to get the program back on track.
14) That Herbstreit will be doing a special appearance at his girlfriend’s sorority house on auction night.
15) That his team spent the summer hanging out in gay bars. Stealing beers, dancing the night away to “Ray of Light”, same difference.
Thanks to SMac, Big Slim, and T-Bone for the contributions.
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August 19th, 2008 at 7:45 am
[…] 15 things you don’t want to hear two weeks from kickoff [Next Round] […]
August 19th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
[…] 15 things no college football fan wants to hear […]
August 19th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
how bout
“anything from Stuart Scott”
August 19th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
obviously the writer of this has never been to a CMU tailgate, because i’m pretty sure that for every game last season, none of those rules were enforced
August 20th, 2008 at 10:13 am
The worst thing to happen before a game is if Corso puts your teams headgear on.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:57 am
As a CMU student, let me tell you first and foremost that few of those rules are followed. I enjoy tailgating, but I’d rather have no tailgating than what happens here, where you get people so drunk they actually try and start the good ole “Fuck the _____”opponent chant. At the Army game.
August 21st, 2008 at 9:00 pm
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