You also smoke some crack and crash into a car lot.

So is the story of recovering alcoholic/drug addict Canadian landscaper who fell off the biggest fucking wagon ever built. From the Record:

“He did not observe his curfew.

“He did not remain sober.

“He did not keep the peace.

“And as he crashed into a Kitchener car lot — driving naked while speeding, drunk, high on crack cocaine and next to a naked prostitute — he was not being of good behaviour.

“‘This is one of the most flamboyant, flaming relapses I’ve ever seen,’ defence lawyer Brennan Smart said. ‘It’s almost the stuff of comedy writers.’

“Boppre, 39, of Waterloo, already had a drunk driving record when he was convicted last year of two weapons offences and breach of recognizance.”

Which begs the question why Boppre didn’t bring any guns with him. What, he didn’t feel like partying?

And we’d be remiss if we didn’t take note of all the fun Canadian spellings in the article. You think you’ve got yourself a ridiculously awesome drunk driving with prostitutes story and then Canadia takes comedy even one notch further by spelling defense wrong. Checkmate, Canada. Checkmate.

[Source: The Record via Jalopnik]

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