Steve Irony once again tuned the rest of Team Cool & Tough into a hard-hitting news item yesterday when he shared this Fox News story about a man in Colorado who made repeated visits to a porn store claiming to be a police detective who needed for the store to give him free porno so that he could inspect each individual video to ensure they did not feature minors.
That’s right. Ridiculously, deliriously, cataclysmicly awesome. Per Fox:
“He made three tries within nine days last month and was turned down each time. The store manager called police after the third try.
“Authorities said Monday that the man showed a badge and left a business card from the Longmont police ‘age verification unit.’ Cmdr. Tim Lewis said there is no such unit.”
Let’s review how amazing this is:
- HE TRIED TO PULL THIS SHIT THREE TIMES IN NINE DAYS!
- HE HAD A BADGE AND BUSINESS CARDS!
- HE CLAIMED TO BE PART OF THE “AGE VERIFICATION UNIT”!
- HE MADE IT ALL UP TO SCORE A COUPLE FREE PORNOS!
As Big Slim pointed out: “I haven’t checked the stock market yet today, so I’m not sure exactly what porn is trading at, but for the amount he paid to make a badge and the business cards, couldn’t he have just bought a few videos? ”
Not a bad point. All we can say is thank god someone this brilliant isn’t using their powers for evil. Or even good for that matter.
Thanks to Steve for being diligently on top of all things porn related.
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