The Hotness Chronicles: Lori Loughlin

September 2nd, 2008 by NextRound in Lady Friends, Television

Occasionally in life a certain pretty lady will transcend time and space and deliver hotness over multiple decades. It’s a truly rare feat and one we like to celebrate. Today, we recognize the timeless Lori Loughlin. From Rad, to Full House, to paycheck TV, to the “new” 90210, Lori has been getting it done for over 20 years. Her hotness deserves to be chronicled…

The Rad Years. Lori came into our lives via the perennial 80’s BMX flick, Rad. She inspired almost as many half-hearted competitive biking attempts as she did uncomfortable erections. If you didn’t watch Rad at least a hundred times between 1986 and 1989, just pretend you did. We’ll judge you otherwise.

Bikes AND the girl, Lori’s Scott Baio lookalike boyfriend is still pretty much the luckiest guy on earth.

The Aunt Becky Years. Just when you think you’ve gotten over the chick from Rad she shows up on Full House, forever cementing the legend of Stamos and providing the only watchable aspect (along with Dave Coulier comedy, of course) of an otherwise painfully dreadful show (in retrospect).

We’d still trade lives with Uncle Jesse this second if the opportunity presented itself. Next stop: Poundtown.

The Paycheck TV Years. After Full House was mercifully put down, a few years passed with no signs of Lori (she had kids or something). But then something miraculous happened: Lori started sporadically showing up in guest appearances on established shows (see: Seinfeld, Spin City) and short lived crappy shows (see: Summerland, In Case of Emergency) looking spectacularly milfalicious. This led to the proliferation of cougarific pictures of Lori on the world wide web, a phenomenon we’re all thankful for.

We may or may not be purchasing the DVD set of Summerland on Amazon this afternoon.

And now the 90210 Mom Years. Just when we assumed there’s no more Lori could do for our generation with her hotness, she tosses a bone to all the poor bastards who will get stuck watching the new 90210 with their wives or girlfriends. We can now safely say it now won’t be the worst thing in the world to sit through this show in order to get to third base with some chick who thinks we’re dating.

Thank you Lori, for all that you’ve done. Here’s to a generation of pretty ladies hopefully following in your footsteps. And your physical fitness routine.