Timing couldn’t have been worse for our much needed long weekend. Shortly after we commenced heavy drinking news broke involving the one person on this planet we are actually covering: Slutty Miss USA.

Just getting to this now has been quite the lesson in humility. Last week rumors were confirmed that our girlfriend our spokeswoman our baby’s mama our all-time favorite pageant winner, Tara Conner, will be hosting a new self betterment reality show on MTV. The premise is every bit as awesome as you could hope for as it involves Tara taking a bunch of slutty chicks to London to teach them how to act like ladies. Yeah, you read that right.

This is a momentous for several reasons:

1) Reality television just got WAY better.

2) We will almost certainly be lifting our moratorium on MTV.

3) We finally get to find out just how ladylike chain-smoking in a two piece can be.

4) It means MTV found chicks who are drunk and slutty enough to make Slutty Miss USA look like a role model.

Please keep in mind that Tara is from Kentucky and sounds like she spent the last decade making hateful remarks about Tubby Smith in between fermenting jugs of moonshine. And that she looks like a porn star. AND that she’s going to be the one doing the teaching.

We plan to develop NR sponsored t-shirts, koozies, drinking games, and inflatable dolls in support of this show. We may even talk SMac into providing a weekly recap with colorful language. The whole thing should be awesome. Awesome from an unintentional comedy, staring at Tara perspective. Not from a self betterment, Extreme Home Makeover perspective.

Does London have hot tubs? How about stripper poles?

Thanks to Big Slim and Mrs. B for the tip.

[Source: Fox News]

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