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Judging A Movie By Its Trailer: Fast & Furious


September 3rd, 2008 by NextRound

Here’s the trailer for Fast & Furious (aka The Fast and the Furious 4), which reunites the cast from the award winning critically acclaimed original. Let’s dive in.


What We Know:

  • It’s a lot easier to make the sequel no one originally wanted to make when the cast isn’t getting any other offers.
  • Vin Diesel plays Dungeons & Dragons.
  • Being a truck driver in the Dominican Republic is a really shitty job.
  • Paul Walker’s acting range is on par with Kevin Federline’s.

What We Can Guess:

  • Michelle Rodriguez isn’t into dudes.
  • Whoever was planning on naming this flick 4 Fast 4 Furious woke up in the middle of the night and realized they’re an idiot.
  • Vin Diesel calls himself Riddick when no one’s around.
  • The earliest we’ll see this movie is three years from now on USA.
  • The sequel to Eight Below will never get greenlit not matter how much Paul Walker begs for it.

What’s Unclear:

  • If a bunch of retards will flock to see this movie.
  • Whether the universe would spontaneously combust if Paul Walker and Keanu Reeves were in the same room at the same time.
  • Why the hell Lil’ Bow Wow was in Tokyo.
  • If Vin Diesel’s sister is known for having a lethal case of crabs.
  • What’s worth stealing off a truck in the Dominican Republic.
  • How much tequila it would take for Michelle Rodriguez to reconsider dudes.

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