Yesterday TMZ reported (and has video of) the insane, drug-addled behavior of Jake “The Snake” Roberts over the weekend at a live wrestling event in Ohio. Since we spent our formative years enamored with the WWF — and in particular Jake the Snake — we were more than intrigued. Here’s what you need to know:

“According to several sources, the 53-year-old legend was found passed out backstage moments before he was scheduled to perform. We’re told when Snake was woken up, he was aggressive, violent and asking for ‘an 8-ball.’

“We’re also told nearly two dozen empty airplane bottles of vodka were found by his gear.

“During the match, Roberts was clearly unable to perform, barely responding to the barrage of ‘fake blows’ he received from the other wrestler, J.T. Lightning. Around one minute into the match, Roberts’ opponent — clearly frustrated with the situation — whispers to the ref to end the fight. Afterwards, Lightning grabbed the mic and told Roberts, ‘I’ve wrestled drug addicts … you are a piece of s**t, Snake. You gypped these people. F**k you.’

“After the verbal assault, Jake pulled down the front of his pants and exposed his penis to the crowd. “

What’s the big deal here? Why is everyone piling on Jake for being awesome? Who isn’t pissed off and looking for an eight ball when they’re woken up from a nap? Who doesn’t find airplane bottles convenient? What kind of gay wrestling name is J.T. Lightning? Why shouldn’t Jake whip his dong out when all the ladies in the audience are clearly asking for it?

Give the guy a fucking break.

In all seriousness though, it was only a matter of time before the Snake completely imploded. You can only spend so many years in the company of reptiles, exchanging fake blows, and rocking a balding mullet before you finally go off the deep end.

[Source: TMZ via With Leather]

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