Editor’s Note: We realize following up a Clay Aiken article with a Broadway musical article is a bit risky, but we’re going there.

We haven’t seen a musical since our third grade teacher told us Cats would be just like watching a live action episode of Thundercats. It wasn’t. But something tells us that a stage adaptation of American Psycho could be just the thing to get us back to the theater.

Both the Ellis novel and the movie ARE AWESOME. The movie is an especially underrated comedy. Christian Bale doesn’t get close to the credit he deserves for his ability to deadpan (”I have to return some videotapes”). We’re pretty sure he was just laying the sarcasm on pretty thick for his mom and his sister. So if the makers of the musical can translate that tone to the stage, then make sure they incorporate the following crucial elements, we may be in.

Crucial Elements:

• TONS of Hughie Lewis. And the News. And other assorted 80’s tunes.

• The business card scene in all its glory.
  

• Verbatim pre-execution music criticism monologues followed by a Gallagher-esque spraying of the audience with fake blood (that tastes like strawberries).

• Hot chick stage nudity, not Katherine Turner stage nudity.

• The “Whole Yale Thing” scene in all its glory.

• Successfully incorporating the line, “Don’t just look at it. Eat it.”

• And of course lots of pointing to the audience.

Yeah, we’d see that. Is Bale available or is the whole Batman thing working out a little too well for him?

“Oh, Africa, brave Africa. It was…a laugh riot.”

[Source: The Hollywood Reporter]

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