Yesterday’s news that Kendra Wilkinson of Girls Next Door fame may or may not be engaged to Eagles receiver Hank Baskett got us to thinking about the phenomenon that is mediocre NFL players dating and marrying Playboy models.
You know how you sometimes hear that life as an NFL journeyman isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? Well, we’re here to call bullshit on that notion. Life as a defense attorney isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Your name on an NFL roster is pretty much a free pass to bang Playmates. And the amazing part is it’s always dudes like Hank Baskett — mediocre players who can’t crack the two deep on a fantasy roster — who take advantage. Let’s take a look at some other examples…
Adam Archuleta and Jennifer Walcott
The former Rams and Redskins safety (recently cut by the Raiders) is engaged to well known former Playmate Jennifer Walcott. They also have a kid together. Nice to know staying on an active roster isn’t any sort of prerequisite to marrying a bunny.
Jeff Garcia and Carmella Decesare
In 2007, Jeff Garcia married the 2004 Playmate of the Year, Carmella Decesare. And since 2007 we’ve repeatedly asked ourselves, “How the fuck is Jeff Garcia married to Carmella Decesare?” Even after you discount Jeff’s preference for track lighting it’s still quite a score.
Glenn Cadrez and Brande Roderick
You’ve probably never heard of former Broncos linebacker Glenn Cadrez, but the guy has a Super Bowl ring AND is engaged to a former Playmate of the Year. And neither seems like it was that hard for him to accomplish. What have you done lately?
Tim Couch and Heather Kozar
Tim Couch had to fend off fellow shitty quarterback Cade McNown for Heather’s affection, but was eventually the one who took home the prize. Too bad for the Browns he never put as much effort into not sucking at football.
Other Notable NFL / Playboy Intersections:
- Fred Dryer, former NFL defensive end and TV’s Hunter, was married to Playboy centerfold Tracy Vaccaro for a few years. It should be noted that Fred was actually a better football player than he was an actor, as hard as that is to imagine.
- Browns QB Derek Anderson is good friends with 2007 Playmate of the Year Sara Jean Underwood. They went to high school and college together. And while Derek has never even made it to first base with Sara Jean, she does call him “Horse Balls”.
- Some really, really, really old Playmate was once married to Houston Oilers quarterback Dan Pastorini.
- The aforementioned Cade McNown was rumored to have been banned from the Playboy Mansion several years back. Cade claims he was banned for being too awesome. And if by “too awesome” he means “an interception tossing douchebag” then he’s accurate.
- And lastly, John Elway is far and away the most relevant NFL player to ever be associated with a Playmate. Didn’t last long after this picture made it to the world wide web though. Hard to believe. Doesn’t look at all awkward.
[Source: Wikipedia]
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