Punch In The Face Friday: We’re Not Voting Because Of Hollywood
October 3rd, 2008 by NextRound
Calm down. We’re going to vote. We’re just trying to make a point. That point being that self-important actors and actresses can eat a dong.
The fuckups in Hollywood banning together to tell the masses to vote is pretty much the equivalent of us visiting local high schools and lecturing students on the importance of using condoms. Sure, we don’t use protection ourselves and we’d only be there to scope out the soon-to-be legal talent, but we’re real important so we’re sure the kids would listen.
Damn this shit drives us nuts every single election year. Each poster, each video, each “Declare Yourself” spot pushing us a little closer to eruption. It’s the audacity really. The idea that these people consider themselves intellectuals with valuable opinions. Hey, Hollywood, here’s a newsflash…
YOU PEOPLE ARE ENTER-FUCKING-TAINERS! YOU’RE NOT DOCTORS OR ENGINEERS OR JOURNALISTS! YOU DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL TO PURSUE A CAREER IN PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE! IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE A HORSESHOE SHOVED UP YOUR ASS YOU’D BE WORKING AT THE LOCAL MEDIEVAL TIMES RIGHT NOW! YOU’RE A FUCKING SIDESHOW! MAKE ME A BICYCLE CLOWN!
Ugh. We sort of feel better. Not all the way though. We’re pretty sure simultaneously kicking Tobey Maguire and Leo DiCaprio in the dick while writing in Dick Masterson for President is the only way we’ll feel all the way better.
Previous Editions of PITFF:
- All Things Related to Oregon State Upsetting USC
- We Refuse to Believe Stacy Keibler Hooked Up with this Midget
- Brett Ratner Is the Worst
- Lou Holtz’s Doctorate Is in Making Us Angry
- Vinny Chase Takes His Guitar to the Beach
Week 10 Picks:
Week 9 Picks:
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:12 pm
there were no horseshoes in medieval times, therefore there are no horseshoes at medieval times
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Horseshoe Shoved Up Your Ass = Lucky
Medieval Times = This Joint http://www.medievaltimes.com/home.aspx
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I wrote about the same thing today…though I wish I had know about that Jessica Alba ad:
http://arjewtino.com/2008/i-watch-so-you-dont-have-to-celebrities-tell-you-to-vote-act-all-smug-about-it/
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:31 pm
[…] Wow, the whole getting people to vote campaign is getting a little out of hand [Next Round] […]
October 8th, 2008 at 11:42 am
so when is that kids stopped looking up to actors? i think this type of ad is more affective than ones run by the presidential candidates themselves as there are no false ideas being put into anyone’s head and kids begin to understand how important the process is if they see their favorite actor/ actress supporting it. ALSO I WOULD FUCKING APPRECIATE IT IF YOU CHANGED THE NOTION IN YOUR HEAD THAT YOU CAN ONLY BE SUCCESSFUL IF YOU HAVE A DEGREE AND WORK FOR SOMEBODY. ITS ONE OF THE REASONS THE POOR STAY POOR AND THE RICH GET RICHER. LIFE ISN’T ABOUT WORKING YOU FUCKING DICK HEAD.
October 8th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Horseshoes were widespread in Europe from about the first Crusade on. So the first comment is dead wrong, and I feel much better about those medieval history courses I took! Yay!