What He Does: The Urinal Spitter sidles up next to you at the urinal and proceeds to repeatedly hock loogies at the drain while taking a piss.
How It Affects You: In addition to creeping you the fuck out, the Urinal Spitter’s actions often trigger stage fright, causing you to stand at the urinal for a prolonged period of time in order to take care of business. Every time you get a consistent stream going, he coughs up another phlegm ball and breaks your concentration.
Level of Mind-Numbing Annoyance: 8 out of 10. Putting someone in that close of proximity of urine and saliva simultaneously should be grounds for termination and/or death by stoning.
Cool & Tough Retaliations:
- Sidle up next to him at lunch with a dip can.
- Hire a homeless guy to spit in his urinal.
- Tell everyone in your office that he propositioned you with something about “a glory hole.”
- Kidnap his daughter.
Previous Editions of People Who Suck In Your Office:
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