With another monster matchup dominating the college football landscape this weekend we’re once again here to provide some off the field analysis to balance out all the on the field analysis you’re in store for. Here are several of the off the field matchups that are most important to us. Things like…
Tailgating Eye Candy
Texas vs. Oklahoma
These photos make for a pretty interesting debate, and we think you could make a strong case either way, but from all the research we’ve done (which is a startling amount) we feel Texas holds the edge in quantity. And we always buy in bulk. Edge: Texas
Actors We’d Have a Beer With
Matthew McConaughey (Texas) vs. Ed Harris (Oklahoma)
Of the actors from each school currently getting steady work, Matthew McConaughey and Ed Harris are easily the two we’d most like to have a beer with. A couple months ago we’d probably have gone with Harris in this spot. He kicked ass in A History of Violence and we wouldn’t have to deal with any shirtlessness. But after McConaughey’s killer performance as “The Pecker” in Tropic Thunder (might be the #1 reason to see the movie) we’re going with Wooderson. Edge: Texas
Notable Pretty Ladies
Renee Zellweger (Texas) vs. Miss America 2006 Jennifer Berry (Oklahoma)
Renee Zellweger has a BA in English from the University of Texas. Miss Oklahoma 2005 and Miss America 2006, Jennifer Berry, attended the University of Oklahoma. If we awarded points for talent or if it were 1998, Renee might put up more of fight, but — seeing how much stock we put in ability to pull off a two piece — we’re going to have to go with Jennifer. Edge: Oklahoma
NFL Running Backs
A Bunch of Serviceable Guys (Texas) vs. Adrian Peterson (Oklahoma)
On one hand, Texas has produced a couple of service NFL running backs. On the other hand, Oklahoma has produced Purple Jesus. Think you know which way we’re leaning on this one. Advantage: Oklahoma
Randomly Awesome Alumnists
Farrah Fawcett (Texas) vs. Jim Ross (Oklahoma)
When researching the notable alumni lists of both schools (here and here), we came across some interesting names, like Farrah Fawcett and Jim Ross. As much of a contribution as Jim Ross’s “Son of a bitch!” has been to our everyday dialogue, we have to lean Farrah here. Her decade’s worth of contributions to boners is unparalleled. Edge: Texas.
And of course…
The Cheerleaders
Texas
vs.
Oklahoma
What. A. Tough. Call. How do you choose between barely legal young ladies willing to show their midriffs while using pom poms? We’re totally pussing out on this one… Edge: Push
Looks like a pretty even matchup. Should be a good one this weekend.
[Source: Wikipedia]
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