Does This Mean Guy Ritchie Won’t Suck Anymore?
October 16th, 2008 by NextRound

Guy Ritchie and Madonna are officially getting divorced. What does this mean exactly? Well, primarily two things: 1) More mileage out of what a creepy old lady banging weirdo A-Rod is, and 2) The a possibility that Guy Ritchie will lift his moratorium on not sucking.
As most of you are aware Ritchie made two pretty bad ass films (Lock, Stock and Snatch) pre-Madonna. Both movies are pretty much the same movie, but that’s not really a big deal when they’re about crooks and cursing and gun play and British accents. The point is, ever since Guy married that hollowed out pop-singing cadaver he’s sucked elephant dick at making cool movies about cursing and British accents.
First there was Swept Away, which actually starred Madonna and is well regarded as one of the finest diarrhetics around. And then there was some flick called Revolver that no one saw and the few who did couldn’t follow because they were too busy trying to figure out why the fuck Jason Statham was pretending he’s not bald. That move had Material Girl written all over it. Chick is like the anti-muse.
So does the divorce mean Guy Ritchie won’t suck anymore? We’re willing to bet so. RocknRolla looks to have lots of crooks and gun play and will probably feel like the third installment in the Lock, Stock trilogy, so that’s a good sign. We can only hope Guy did most of his work on that flick in between banging strippers and not his wife. Also, casting Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes is another step in the right direction. We’re 100% sure RDJ is better at playing British dudes than actual British dudes are. He’d out-British the fucking pants off Hugh Grant.
Yep, things are coming up Ritchie all of sudden. And the rest of us should be the better for it.















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October 16th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Chill, Winston.