• Your parents’ driveway with the car still running.

• The bushes outside your ex-girlfriend’s apartment using a boom box as a pillow.

• Spooning some random dude.

• In a bath tub covered in blood.

• The Emergency Room with: A) a stab wound, B) significantly less teeth, C) your arms handcuffed to the bed, and/or D) your mom hysterically crying across the room.

• The back seat of a stranger’s car.

• In a strip club getting asked if that last lap dance should go on your credit card like the others.

• On a downtown park bench in a city you’re unfamiliar with.

• Next to your buddy wailing on a chick who may or may not be a professional.

• Surrounded by your friends trying to figure out how you’re too stupid to find a bathroom.

• The back bedroom of a trailer, for the second time.

• Your parents’ kitchen floor.

• Next to a minor telling you it’s “our little secret”.

• The front lawn of the local synagogue.

• Cleveland.

• Next to any chick your friends have nicknamed slam pig, war pig, big bear, polar bear, hedgehog, freight elevator, or anything else that references her size and/or resemblance to a wild animal.

• The drunk tank with someone dropping a deuce in the community toilet.

• The couch with no pants on and the dryer running.

• The neighbors’ front porch when you don’t know the neighbors.

• On the floor of your old apartment with the new residents dialing 911.

You know you’ve been there.
Thanks to all members of Team Cool & Tough for the input, none of which was based on real life experiences.

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