Judging A Movie By Its Trailer: Transporter 3
November 5th, 2008 by NextRound
Here’s the trailer for Transporter 3, the third installment of Jason Statham’s uber realistic action franchise about a limo driver with a penchant for fighting shirtless. Steve Irony has been begging us to post something on this so here we go…
What We Know:
- These flicks are best viewed when hungover on Sundays.
- Statham will — at some point — need to take his shirt off in order to effectively fight bad guys.
- They really need to cast chicks with bigger boobs in these Transporter movies.
- A surprisingly large number of straight dudes are “gay for Statham”.
What We Can Guess:
- The screenwriter for Transporter 3 has seen Speed.
- We are rarely recommended as “the men for the job.”
- The southern dude from Prison Break isn’t really an inbred hick at all.
- Hand-to-hand combat in a suit is as easy as it looks.
- If Statham offered us a ride to anywhere but Poundtown we would take it.
What’s Unclear:
- Whether Statham ad-libbed, “You’re fired” or someone actually wrote that down.
- Whether this flick will be Transporter unbelievable or Transporter 2 unbelievable.
- If the Transporter is some sort of hippie. Dude never wants to work.
- Whether Statham really did make Shia LaBeouf shit his pants just by telling him he once got head from a chick named Shia.
Can’t remember where we heard that Statham/LaBeouf story, but there’s gotta be some truth to it.















Bowl Picks:
Overall Record: 9-11 (3 Unit), 8-6 (2 Unit), 7-1 (1 Unit), -2.7 Units










November 5th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
You know you’d take a trip to Poundtown with Statham, who do you think your fooling.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:48 am
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