We’ve wanted to have a beer with Paul Rudd ever since he told us that they’ve done studies and 60% of the time, Sex Panther works every time. The guy has seemingly dedicated himself to being awesome and because of that we’re sure Role Models won’t suck.

The funny thing is though that prior to 2004 Paul Rudd pretty much spent his film career trying to out-suck himself. Take a look.

Rudd’s Sample Pre-2004 Resume:

• The Hippie Step Brother in Clueless.
• Some douchebag who loses his girl to Leo DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet.
• A part in a movie about abortions that takes place in a mythical world where Charlize Theron wants to hump Tobey Maguire.
• Some indie flick about a guy who gets a nose job.
• And — FTW — a gay dude who doesn’t bang Jennifer Aniston because he’s gay in what should have been titled The Object of the Worst Movie Ever.

Wow. Talk about terrible. We’re pretty sure if we’d met Paul Rudd in 2002 we would have beaten him senseless. Or at least discussed beating him senseless before deciding to have a beer instead. But then, something amazing happened. Rudd woke up one morning and decided to be awesome. And ever since then he’s been taking underrated roles in solid movies and making those movies way awesomer. There’s no better way to reinforce this point than to list some choice quotes by Rudd’s best characters:

As Brian Fantana in Anchorman:

• “People call me the Bry man; I’m the stylish one of the group. I know what you’re asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nickname for my penis. It’s called the Octagon, but I also nicknamed my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.”

• “I think I was in love once…She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.”

• “Ron, I know it sounds harsh, but God does not want her to live.”

As David in 40 Year-Old Virgin:

• “You know how I know you’re gay?…Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.”

• “I dated this woman…wait. Lemme rephrase that. I dated this whore for like two years…and she stomped all over my heart.”

• “Uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn!”

• “I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothin’ against him, but if I hear ‘Yah Mo B There’ one more time, ‘Yah Mo’ burn this place to the ground.”

As Pete in Knocked Up:

• “Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”

• “You look like Babe Ruth’s gay brother…Gabe Ruth.”

Let Paul Rudd be a lesson to all of you. The decision to be awesome can be made at any moment. Sometimes you just have to play a gay dude who wouldn’t bang Jennifer Aniston before you realize it.

[Source: IMDb]

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