They get hassled by 5.0!

They read magazines on the can!

They work at coffee shops!

They get awkward boners!

They mow the lawn!

They make gangsta car poses!

They hope they don’t get jammed up at second base!

They shop for groceries!

They enjoy long walks on the beach!

They support their team! No matter how shitty!

They take the express train!

They drink forties when they’re off duty!

They have poor friends!

They have fat friends!

They have slutty coworkers!

They go down the slide at the fair!

They bring flowers when they’ve fucked up!

They chill out by the pool!

They feel weird at their in-laws!

They know it’s all about straight cash homey!

They get stuck with the kids!

They get drunk and weird on St. Patrick’s Day!

They just need one more quarter to get the stuffed Donkey Kong!

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