We’ve done some research and it appears the only prerequisites to releasing a greatest hits album are a previous pay stub from a record label and a self-deprecating sense of humor. Take these for example…

Aaron Carter - “The Hits”. Anyone else considering buying this to find out how in fact he did beat Shaq?

Rick Astley - “Greatest Hits”. And by “greatest” he means “one”. And by “hits” he means “killer internet meme”.

“The Best of Mandy Moore”. Is there Mandy Moore sex tape footage we don’t know about?

C+C Music Factory - “Super Hits”. We haven’t dug too deeply on this but we’re pretty sure C+C Music Factory only made one album to begin with. Talk about balls.

Don Johnson - “The Essential”. By releasing a greatest hits album people will have to assume I’m a talented musician… Sometimes Don, you even amaze yourself.

“Bang…The Greatest Hits of Frankie Goes to Hollywood”. Does making arguably the best song about premature ejaculation in music history merit a best of album?

“Best of Hilary Duff”. Hilary Duff’s music career makes Mandy Moore’s music career seem relevant.

“The Best of Rick Springfield”. 16 whole songs and somehow not all remixes of “Jessie’s Girl”. Amazing.

“Best of the Crash Test Dummies”. This album actually killed in Canada.

“The Very Best of Macy Gray”. Not just the best, the “very best”. Anyone else think the Spiderman cameo went to her head?

“The Best of The Vapors”. If you can name one song by The Vapors that doesn’t involve switching ethnicities your next beer is on us.

“The Best of Billy Ray Cyrus”. Son of a bitch had the nerve to hide “Achy Breaky Heart” in the last track.

“The Very Best of Starship”. Never has one shitty band capitalized on one shitty song quite like Starship.

“The Best of Fuel”. Someone should lose their life for “Bad Day” making it on any sort of album with “best of” in the title.

98 Degrees - “The Collection”. AKA “The Nick Lachey Retirement Fund”. Booyah!

Honorable Mention: “The Best of Tom Jones”. OK, so Tom Jones probably does deserve a greatest hits album, but there was absolutely no way we weren’t including this album cover. Look up “hunk” in the dictionary and let us know what you find.

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