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By no means do we claim to have any sort of expertise when it comes to fashion. But if we’ve learned anything now that we’re closing in on our late twenties it’s that it’s more important to know what you can’t pull off than what you can. Take the following for example:

Manpris. For when you can’t quite decide between shorts and pants. That not only did someone, somewhere think capri pants for dudes was a good idea, but that some dudes actually wear them, is one of two great mysteries that keeps us up at night.

Crocs. For when you don’t realize that some fads are just meant for women and children. Geezus. Have some self respect.

The Fauxhawk. For when you want people to figure out just by looking at you that you’re trying too hard. Griffin Guess snagging Marissa Miller is the other great mystery that keeps us up at night.

The Low Cut V-neck. For when you want to guarantee that no other dude will sit next to you. What, are you trying to get motorboated?

Spray Tans. For when you don’t realize something is a bad idea.

Gatsby Hats. For when you think you can pull off a look NFL quarterbacks can’t even pull off.

Neck Beards. For when you’ve outgrown the chinstrap.

Barbed Wire Tattoos. For when you want people to think you played college football in the late nineties. Even though you didn’t. And you’re an ass clown.

White Guy Dreadlocks. For when hacky sack alone can no longer define you. White guy dreadlocks may be the single largest menace facing our nation today.

And there you have it. If you have unfortunately tried to pull off one of these looks at one time or another, don’t fool yourself into believing you’re the exception. You’re not. Get your shit together.

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62 Responses So Far...

    Tramp Stamp Tuesday : Regretful Morning says:

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    Rallie says:

    Crocs aren’t even for women. They’re ONLY ok on children, or if you’re going creek-walking. Mayyybe biking.
    But never, ever, EVER to be worn with socks!


    Mezo says:

    lo0ol..liked it…specially the first 3 :)


    Ali says:

    So very much agreed on all but the gatsby hat. I think some guys are absolutely adorable in them… but as with any and every look: NOT for all.


    jewel says:

    Crocs are for no one! Ever!


    Wednesday Morning Time Wasters: Los Angeles and Chicago Want NFL Teams | Quite to the Contrary says:

    [...] looks guys should never try. [...]


    Home Stretch: Links To Round Out The Work Day « YepYep - Your Daily Waste Of Time says:

    [...] 9 Looks No Dude Should Ever Try And Pull Off.


    Bri says:

    V necks are the only thing I disagree with, they can be very attractive on men.


    Justin says:

    The Faux-hawk and the V-neck are staples in the gay guy fashion industry haha

    I wouldn’t dis the style of the only brand of men that have style haha


    veluxx says:

    hey I know the neck beard guy.


    Sarena says:

    hahaha for the most part i agree… though personal taste… i kinda like white guy dreads… on certain guys… not all… not even a lot.. oh and im ok with the hats on some guys as well..


    nikkikikikikiki says:

    V necks are the best thing to ever happen to white, skinny boys.


    tonya says:

    ROFL I love it.


    D says:

    Crocs,
    Sorry people, when I take my tropical vacation, the crocs are on and poping.They look bad, but the comfort and air is unbeatable. Get over it.


    Andrew says:

    Yep - spray tans on guys and Fauxhawks two things that should just never have been allowed to exist.

    As for crocs - NO SOCKS people!!!! It’s as bad as sandals and socks.


    Women's Tee Shirts says:

    Amazin!

    !!

    Someone I actually agree with!

    How did you get so many perfect photos of the subject?


    frogpocket says:

    seems like a personal problem


    maxwell says:

    i like the show


    Phil Jones says:

    Tattoos…..why why why? I know of no one that didn’t regret that session with the pins.

    If our personality cant outshine the clothes we wear then its time to re-invent ourselves.


    christine says:

    to all you assholes who claim to wear crocs for comfort: ever heard of flipflops? just as comfortable and less of an assault on the eyes.


    SoCalTrojan77 says:

    All completely true to me except for the dreads, some can pull it off.

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    ea says:

    White guy dreads are only on this list for the reason that most do not know the history of them. Egyptians, Asians and Western Europeans had them for centuries. so bugger off with your it’s a black thing.


    Larry says:

    About the only exception to man-pris i can think of is maybe for its practical application for climbers.
    However, its just as easy to roll up your pant legs a few rolls just to keep the bottom of the pants from getting in the way while you’re climbing.


    katsaph says:

    haha I think the gatsby hats are cute


    Capri says:

    Capris got their name from the island of Capri, near Positano in Italy. MALE clam-diggers would wear pants that ended half-calf to prevent their pants from getting wet. Some european designer saw them in the late 40’s, designed replicas and sold them European women.

    Hopefully that makes you sleep better, cholos.


    leigh says:

    dreadlocks are sexy if they fit the person. for sure.


    Kay says:

    Actually man-pris are popular in Europe but not with demin. I kind of like them.


    john reeves says:

    I like it, i grew up wearing nerdy crap and am actually the worlds bigest ass sucking nerd.


    Manny Mannis says:

    Flipflops over Crocs? If you really want to looks at man feet, I’m sure there are websites devoted to your fetish.

    Crocs (sans socks) are the greatest water/beach shoes ever invented. Be a man, don’t be afraid to admit you love ‘em. They aren’t selling millions of pairs just to women and kids.


    Rigid Finger says:

    Crocs are cool. Sox, you bet. Sox with sandles only got a bad rap because old folks wore black sox with sandles. Try gray, its comfortable and tells people that if they don’t like it they can go stuff themselves. Grow up and do your own thing.


    Rigid Finger says:

    Manpris? what is this sissy name alabout. They a beach combers, and yes, they only make sense at the beach. It also helps if you actualy have calves. Also not to be confused with mexican high waters, the big baggy black cut off at the knees pants that scream “I’m so pathetic I’ll ware anything in hopes of fitting in”.


    xxxrokkstarrxxx says:

    I have a barbed wire tattoo, and I feel deeply, deeply ashamed.


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    Andrea says:

    women i used to work with at Walmart wore crocs. ew. they said they were comfy but i really dont agree.


    Andrea says:

    as for manpris, .. my friends and i call then shants. shorts/pants! lol


    Brentward says:

    Anyone over 7 who owns a pair of Crocks should be ashamed.

    To NextRound: It should be “try to” not “try and.”


    shader says:

    ummm you have no idea about anything, croxs were made for guys those pants are fine, and barbred wire is fine and so is the dreads, either 1. your gay and don’t like the look in other men or 2. you have tried this and people made fun of you cause you can’t pull it off.


    shader's mom says:

    Shader, you shut your filthy mouth! You’re only 12 years old and don’t know squat!


    Harry Truman says:

    My name is Harry S. Truman, and I’m commenting from beyond the grave. I have come here today to beg of your forgiveness for commanding the Enola Gay to drop an atomic bomb over Japan. And speaking of gay, I really love to have thick rod slammed into my hot presidential love pit.


    Rachael says:

    Crocs should never, ever be worn.

    Ever…

    Ugh I hate those things. It looks like you just melted wax all over yer feet!

    I think dreads are cool imo though ;3
    I like ‘em on some guys.


    Rachael's mom says:

    Rachael, you shut your filthy mouth! You’re only 12 years old and don’t know squat!

    Crocs are the bomb. Ask any beach volleyballer fan.


    Slut Bucket says:

    I’d like to wear a combination of all of these looks as a halloween costume.
    That would be scary as hell.


    Mixie says:

    The only one I disagree with is the “white guy dreadlocks.” I have a few friends that are white, with dreadlocks that can pull them off quite well. It’s all in the personality. Just don’t pretend you’re jamaican.


    RadDad says:

    I suppose if I gave a rat’s “ass”essment about how I looked to others, these 9 superficial appearances might concern me. But as a former Marine pushing 50 now, with my own tats, it’s about what’s inside a person. Comfort is way big on my lifestyle nowadays too! I’d wear crocs if they’re comfy and I didn’t want my other shoes wet and muddy. I know the guy with dreads and you couldn’t meet a more sincere, honest, and hard-working musician, in my opinion!!!


    the Sublime Blog » Nine Looks No Dude Should Ever Try and Pull Off says:

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    Rick Answer Analyst says:

    I love this list. Especially the dreadlocks and the Chinstrap beard.


    Kathy says:

    Harry Truman, you probably want to spell your name right in future posts. It’s Harry S Truman, no period after the S. His middle name was actually just S.


    Cyclonus says:

    Those spray tan guys look like pumpkins.


    Free Beauty Tips says:

    Amizin!


    theguy2 says:

    I actually like the Gatsby hats… I even think the guy whose picture you chose can pull it off.


    JP says:

    They forgot the shirt with no tie –
    the buttoned-up dork look.
    That, and a pair of horned rimmed glasses, and you’re back in 1985.
    Not a good look for anyone.


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    chardan says:

    lol! Yep, that’s my neck beard!


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    Tomás says:

    But white dreadlocks have been round for years, vikings wore dreadloc- derivitives, i suppose if you do it right it can look okay.


    Nathan Burton says:

    Too funny, I have actually seen all thos looks!


    Ashley says:

    I wear crocs…haha. Only for work though, since we have to have black non-slip shoes. They’re comfy but guys should definitely NEVER wear them.


    Jason says:

    Whats wrong with the barb wire tattoos?


    iamyourname says:

    aren’t barbed wire tattoos for racists? loads of neo nazis have them :s


    Nits says:

    ok, crocs are the worst thing to happen to human kind! they are absolutely ugly and NOT a fashion statement (or maybe they are, as they show poor fashion taste). and no man should ever grow their hair long unless they actually think they can take care of it. i have seen too many disasters because men think long hair is cool! VERY FEW can pull it off.


    Designer Clothing says:

    I still don't like wearing Crocs


    links of london says:

    this fashion style hair is so exciting


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