If you’re looking to intimidate your neighbors we recommend you whip your dong out and tell them you’re a black belt. 90% of the time it works every time.
Authorities in Pennsylvania said a man pleaded guilty to indecent exposure after he emerged naked from his home and challenged his neighbors to a karate fight.
Gary Jones, 47, pleaded guilty to a first-degree misdemeanor charge. Three children less than 16 years of age were among those who saw him walk out of his house naked, The (Hanover, Pa.) Evening Sun reported Tuesday.
Jones, of Gettysburg, was sentenced to one month in jail followed by two months of house arrest and 21 months of probation. He was also ordered to avoid contact with his neighbors and to pay a $200 fine.
Police said Jones emerged naked from his home after consuming alcohol Aug. 1 and approached neighbors Dennis Hucks, Gary Kerns and Andrea Orndorff while Huck’s three children played nearby. He told the men that he knew karate and asked if any of them wanted to fight.
Jones allegedly told officers that he knew leaving his house naked was illegal, but he came out anyway because he is a “serious martial artist.”
And the police still arrested him after that explanation? The pigs are the fucking worst.
The real question is why we don’t do more awesome stuff like this when we get wasted. Instead of taking our clothes off we put on a Coldplay CD, and instead of challenging our neighbors to a karate match we try to meet Russian girls online. Holy shit we suck.
[UPI.com]
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