We’ve borrowed the viralest format on the web and injected it with an undiluted strain of awesome in order to pay tribute to our favorite semi-bald action star prior to the release of what will probably come to be known as the Jason Statham of Jason Statham movies. This is why you’re Jason Statham:
You stage your own guns and chicks photo shoot!
You inspire evolutionary theories!
Hippies can’t handle your extreme taglines!
You’re the Michael Jordan of sword fighting!
You force male nurses to defibrillate you!
You always keep your eyes on the road!
You only ride buses shirtless!
You named your dog Jason Statham!
You told Neo the matrix is for pussies!
Mickey Rourke has a man crush on you!
You scale fences for fun!
You would have gone to prom with Jesse Spano!
You would have made a superior Daredevil!
You refuse wardrobe for period pieces!
You dropkick helmets!
No photo opportunity is too fucking random!
And you never send a friend to voicemail!
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