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We’ve borrowed the viralest format on the web and injected it with an undiluted strain of awesome in order to pay tribute to our favorite semi-bald action star prior to the release of what will probably come to be known as the Jason Statham of Jason Statham movies. This is why you’re Jason Statham:

You stage your own guns and chicks photo shoot!

statham_chicksguns

You inspire evolutionary theories!

statham_evolution

Hippies can’t handle your extreme taglines!

statham_tagline

You’re the Michael Jordan of sword fighting!

statham_swordfight

You force male nurses to defibrillate you!

statham_defib

You always keep your eyes on the road!

statham_chicklap

You inspire senior portraits!

statham_highvoltage

You only ride buses shirtless!

statham_bus

You named your dog Jason Statham!

statham_dog

You told Neo the matrix is for pussies!

statham_neo

Mickey Rourke has a man crush on you!

statham_rourke

You scale fences for fun!

statham_fence

You would have gone to prom with Jesse Spano!

statham_burrows

You would have made a superior Daredevil!

statham_daredevil

You refuse wardrobe for period pieces!

statham_nameoftheking

You dropkick helmets!

statham_helmet

No photo opportunity is too fucking random!

statham_austincook

And you never send a friend to voicemail!

statham_gown

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48 Responses So Far...

    Rei says:

    God this guy is annoying and in a lot of bad movies.
    Only time I liked him in a movie was when he was running around with a boner in the above picture.
    That was funny.


    Anthony says:

    True to that, that guy is full of adrenaline and awesome. I can’t wait for Crank High Voltage.


    joe says:

    A bruce willis clone


    Mistress_Kitten says:

    his nipples looks odd….


    Andrew says:

    God, he would have made an absolutely awful Daredevil. Not that it would have mattered anyway since that movie sucked, but yeah, still, don’t ever say that again.


    Bill says:

    Wish I could understand why he’s so popular. He’s not a terrific actor, I mean, he not as bad as Segall or anything, but he’s still just not up to par for the attention and paychecks he’s pulling.


    easternbunny says:

    Jason Statham rocks!
    Transporters were absolutely phenomenal!
    and all the haters are bed wetters : )


    ranjith says:

    i can understand that the semi bald actor with his ferocious actions might have gathered much attention.


    Greg says:

    I really liked him in Crank, but only because it was a good movie and he had Amy Smart as a co-star. But yeah I agree, how does he keep getting cast in all these movies….he must have a really good agent.


    yoga dvd dude says:

    Who is the cute brunette in his lap in the car?


    Todd says:

    Just HOPE he’s worth ALL the money he makes; AND; all the trouble he causes!


    Marie says:

    Oh I just love him :)


    seabass says:

    god this guy is such a pussy.


    zach says:

    You all are dumb. He is a fairly decent actor but only in the popular action movies. He is really good in Snatch and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Obviously no one here has seen them but they’re great. More of english humor though i guess. They were out before he got HUGE so check em out they got a lot of other great actors in them too.


    chris says:

    jason statham is 100% douche


    exinco says:

    he was hard and hansome


    Joey2Cool says:

    Yeah, you tell em, Easternbunny. Nowadays an action movie is not worth watching without Statham in it. I haven’t seen Transporter3 or Crank2, but i’m a big fan of his films. The action and fighting sequences are exilerating fun. Guaranteed to put bums on seats. Aiight!

    And to all the bed wetters out there, ya’ll better hang out them sheets to dry. Peace


    whykissme says:

    \(^o^)/~ good


    Andrew says:

    Jason Statham wasn’t actually good in Snatch or Lock, Stock either. They were just pretty good movies that he happened to exist in. He’s not bad enough that he made those movies suck like some actors could. But he doesn’t have a personality so he didn’t really contribute anything good either.


    Liza says:

    Wow, I think we have some envious males on here! Anyone who would go so far to call an actor (i.e., complete stranger) a douche or pussy really needs to work on themselves! Jason Statham is a talented action actor. Sure we haven’t seen the breadth of talent but give him time. Like any actor, he has his hits and misses. The Bank Job was excellent, Snatch was great. Return of the King sucked! But Jason Rocks! And he deserves the attention he’s receiving… his filmography is a testament to his determination. I’ll be there when Crank 2 hits theatres on Friday. I love him.


    24365.info says:

    It’s thrilling to watch his “performance” - acting being just part of that - ain’t it what we watch movies for?


    zwi! says:

    Your comment also reads as: God, Boner, Funny.

    classic.


    zulfi says:

    He is superb herooooooooooooo. I like him tooo much


    DJ Rainman says:

    I think some people hate because his money is long. But I like his work he’s cool to me.


    YT Ty Tee says:

    He is forever known as Turkish in my book.

    “Not many people are named after a plane crash.”


    Diana Rupert says:

    I really like this actor doing some action scenes.


    Sava says:

    Really funny article. My favorite one is “The Matrix is for pussies” :) :)


    Ghola Idaho says:

    Jason Statham is one of the few good white martial artists in movies today. I think Hollywood is mis-using him, best example of that is “War”. Lets take the best white martial artist and the best asian martial artist we can afford and put them in a gritty crime drama? NO.


    mark says:

    Lol to the evolution photograph: You inspire evolutionary theories! Now that is someone with some time in their hands and photoshop..


    mia says:

    he’s a great actor when he’s in great movies. he really shouldn’t lower himself to forgettable american-quality action flicks.


    Wylie says:

    Those of you asking why Statham is paid the way he is… one word. Revolver. That is all.

    Watch it. Listen to it as it ‘wooshes’ over your head. Enjoy.


    Dave says:

    Amen. Snatch was absolutely awesome! Statham might be one dimensional but he's not trying to be something he isn't. I've enjoyed all his films, even the independent ones!


    Mia says:

    Wylie's right. revolver really shows the man's potential. any actor of course benefits from a good director though.


    pow pow says:

    The internet's loaded with experts and critics.


    Bea-47 says:

    (excuse my english and try it with french accent, if you could?) This actor is becomming most popular on our continent, not only cause his rules of action man, but certainly cause américain people doesn't want to make A définitive choice, beetweem Bruce Willis, The least 3 or 4 Mister James Bond (several actors), Sylvester Stallone, the regreted Mac Queen, And definitly an américain Bruce Lee ( the best of all, since the sixties) - Never forget that,a new heroe will came from these heroes that beeing before…..


    Lunyka says:

    Maybe Bruce Willis is a clone of him


    You says:

    No thats u


    Zahoor says:

    April 23th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
    he’s a great actor when he’s in great movies. he really shouldn’t lower himself to forgettable american-quality action flicks.I see just sointresting.

    [Reply]


    Terry Wagar says:

    There’s A man named John Ray in Authority here in Portland Oregon and He is A f@@king Pedophile and A Serial Killer!


    BritMOVIES says:

    He is great in “Snatch”, “Lock, stock and two smoking barrels”, “revolver”, and “transporter”. All good films and the rest of his work is pretty good, but it is what it is….. ACTION MOVIES and that’s all and that’s fine. He has to make a buck and to be honest his acting skills are pretty good for a guy who is better known for his mixed martial arts…. CHEERS


    Snake says:

    I got blind after watching his awesomeness


    Fox says:

    hahaha his nipples are lopsided in that picture XD


    T-Y says:

    I like how he’s basically the same character in EVERY MOVIE…what a douche.


    ross says:

    he was good in The bank Job.


    Uncle Leo says:

    This guy is the empitome of macho - truly the coolest man to ever walk the earth. Best work to date: Snatch!


    dg\shy says:

    Snatch and Lock Stock were both awesome.


    alfred decker says:

    hello friends,just want to say this fellow is the bomb.each time i rewatch the transporter i&2,i feel like going into movie acting.am bald just as he is though but it shows that bald people are powerful.he’s a good fella.pls if you can get accross to him,tell him that someone here in liberia,that’s me will like to emulate him.am alsoagood actor and dancer in both african and european kind of dance,waiting to part in his next movie.from alfred.


    Anygreen says:

    牛 经典


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