What the guys’ guy needs to know about last night’s Miss USA pageant.

This Chick Won:

This Is What She Looks Like in a Two Piece:

UPDATE: This Is the Video of the Swimsuit Competition:

This Is Oddly Similar to Our Place on a Friday Night:

This Is 2009’s Poolside Composite:

And This Is When Miss California Defended Her Preference for “Opposite Marriage” to Perez Hilton:

“Opposite marriage”. Classic. Beauty contestants are smart.

If you’re craving more Miss USA info — what more do you need to know? — we suggest going here and here.

• Lady Friend: Carrie Minter Lagree
• Lady Friend: Julie Galindo
• Hard Hitting Hotness

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