Today the sports world turns it’s attention to the Masters, which provides us with the perfect opportunity to mock one of the most awkward tradition in golf: the previous Masters winner awarding the new Masters winner with the green jacket. We’re pretty sure the last five exchanges went something like this…
2008: Trevor Immelman awarded the green jacket by Zach Johnson
Zach: “My confidence level is now back down here.”
Trevor: “Are you also picking up on the vibe that every chick in this joint wants to bang me? Including your wife?”
2007: Zach Johnson awarded the green jacket by Phil Mickelson
Phil: “I really enjoyed your performance in Walk the Line.”
Zach: “Wow your hands are soft. Do you moisturize?”
2006: Phil Mickelson awarded the green jacket by Tiger Woods
Phil: “I bet your dong is this big.”
Tiger: “Yeah, well, you gotta remember I’m only a quarter black.”
2005: Tiger Woods awarded the green jacket by Phil Mickelson
Phil: “Hey brother…”
Tiger: “Did you try this thing on before me? It feels really stretched out in the tits region.”
2004: Phil Mickelson awarded the green jacket by Mike Weir
Phil: “Wow. You hobbits really do fine work.”
And there you have it. Who knew one dude putting an ugly blazer on another dude while that dude was also wearing the same ugly blazer could be so much fun? Answer: Augusta National.
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