The New Snickers Campaign Is…Different

Not funny. At all. Kinda stupid, actually.

Yeah, I went and bought some Snickers after these ads; those are amazing.
So win there, I guess.
Twix sucks.

Joe, stop stealing my quotes.

And the massive collective intelligence governing the voting on bash.org wishes to declare these adverts as being solely within the realm of photoshop. We can tell from the pixels, and our collective minds have observed many such ‘shops previously.

That is all.

Joe, never mind.

I am gay and nothing I write ever makes sense besides now.

That is all.

That wasn’t me.

Indeed, “F–k Twix” is quite possibly the best promotion ever.

Actually just kidding it was me and I am still really gay.

No, impostor.

Instead of using the F word directly… they could have thought it as Tuck Fwix… Message also conveyed and offense also restrained.

F–k isn’t as bad a cuss word in the UK as it is in the US though. So, you can just f off innqubus.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a quote Nazi, god forbid anyone want to perpetuate the humor of my quotes, and share a laugh with their internet brethren. Sieg Heil. Wir mussen verbrennen die posers. *sigh*

simple yet elegant.

Well at least I don’t have nuts deep inside me.

At least I have nuts!

Bitch you wanna talk about nuts?

Probably best and funniest add campaign I’ve seen in a LONG time

Our collective minds once again protest your slandering of our good name, you dirty fake.

Oh, sorry Snickers. You weren’t slandering me. I misread your post. I still had some of my bf’s lovejuice in my eye, so my vision was a bit blurry.

Ah yes, it seems we are late to this FASCINATING discussion.

Snickers, it seems you have insulted our friends. We challenge you to a duel, at sunrise, outside this very page. Choose your weapon carefully, cur.

Oh dear god, I laughed hard.

What the hell is going on here?

Yo snickers I’m looking to expand my customer database what you say we hook up do some work together and get the children lovin me too. I’ll make it worth your while

Yo reeses where my money B?

Hush children, you’re keeping the adults awake.

Gentlemen, perhaps I have gotten ahead of myself. It is sad for me to hear that you have double crossed me Twizzlers…sad indeed. *Unholsters Desert Eagle and whips a Compact Shotgun out from under his trench coat, simultaneously pointing them at Twizzler’s and Crack’s head respectively* Perhaps under these conditions we can have a more respectful conversation. Come Reese’s unsheathe your Claymore.

Apparently not. Someone needs to be taught some manners back at the headquarters. Get back in the car, Twizzlers.

yeah dawg we all coooh

We just playin around yo

A deal shall be in order.

Unfortunately for you Twizzlers…my name is not John “Compassion” Snickers. *Squeezes Desert Eagle trigger, as the hammer slams down I smile and stare into your eyes right as the 50 caliber round enters your right cornea. The hydrostatic shock causes your occipital bone to shatter, allowing your brain and the millions of neurons composing it to splatter across the internets.* Now how should I deal with you Crack? You’ve already seen what I am capable of and what I am not. Its your move.

How about this? I get half this city to have my whores work the street, and you, Snickers, get the other half. You have enough influence to proclaim your dominance over Twix publicly, so I trust he won’t be a problem for you. With Twizzlers gone, and Crack with one foot in the grave, the city is ours. Sound good?

I have reaches that go deep into the roots of the city, deeper than imaginable. With a snap of my finger, I can have this little “accident” with Twizzlers cleaned up like it never happened, and keep the police off your back and turn a blind eye to certain, say, import/export opportunities.

We just talkin some words no reason to go pullin guns n shit tryin to be all hard. Twizz my boy and you do him like that?

A living that enslaves the lives of millions you scum! Your lucky I haven’t fired this rock salt into your diaphragm yet! Be silent!

Your etiquette is refreshing Mr. Chew. I will take you up on this offer on two conditions. Are your prepared to accept without question?

Indeed. I believe we can both find this chance meeting mutually beneficial.

Stunt double Charleston Chew falls over. A real businessman trusts no one. Read Charleston Chew fires an RPG at the Apache, taking it down while the rotors cut PopRocks in half.

Game on brotha! Wut up pop! *pulls the golden gun from under his shirt* Sup snickers?!

Charleston Chew shoots Twix, Payday, Musketeers, Whatchamacallit, and the fake Bash.org in the head with an M1911A1, and jumps into a speedboat and makes his escape.

“You’re brown!”, he shouts in the distance.

wow… I’m real glade charleston didn’t choose to shoot either of us before he spead off. *crack looks at snickers*

Your right, as much as I hate your effects Crack, you are necessary to the American economy and in keeping the black man down. *I rip off my mask revealing that I am in fact The Man*

*over radio* I think PopRocks is stuck in 56k land. He’s behind on everything.

A 50 cal. round whizzes through PopRocks’ cranium, and the sound of a cartridge being ejected is heard over the radio.

I’m really dead guys that last post was just a joke haha

a building fell on my dick i mean u cant survive that lol

Dude, don’t be an idiot. There are easier ways than to say a character’s plot involvement was a joke. Just say there is a cloned army of PopRocks. Problem solved.

Hi. I’m a loser that pretends to be different people talking to each other. I am really all of the people named after chocolate bars in this conversation. Man I’m a loser.

Dick move, dick move. I’m out.

And also, if I’m all people named after chocolate bars, who is PopRocks? I propose that you are a wet blanket.

Well Snickers has been played by one person this whole time from post 33 on. What up now bitches. Commitment baby!

Original Charleston Chew leaving. Have fun.

21 Gun Salute engaged. Original Snickers/ The Man out. I’ll deal with you another day Crack.

Snickers realizing that Crack is his true friend hops into the chopper with Crack. Whats the plan? I’m a fatigued 18 year old that kind of wants to go to bed but doesn’t want to end this yet.

This fatigued 18 year old is going to bed. See you guys thanks for making the internet amazing.

Crack out!

Are you a fatigued 18 year old that wants to feel happy and stay up all night?

heil adolf bitler !!

Ohey, what’d I miss?

BEST COMMENTS EVAR!!!!!!

WHAT? You do what?

Look up pepsi rape ad contreversy.
This reminded me of that.

The comments are shopped. I can tell from years of experience, being an expert and all. Besides, the shadows are all wrong

shutup joe

They are bitchin cool! Very funny!

On the second day, I rise again…and all that shit. Did Reeses make it?

Another liberal conspiracy organized by the “DARK” chocolate…

HAHAHAHA! Hilarious.

The new line of Snickers advertisements – http://bit.ly/1lJ2SN

@ Joe why do people like you, have to come on sites likes this and ruin a good thing with ignorant idiotic comments? @ Expert Who cares if they are shopped? You think the company would make actual advertisements like this? Thanks for stating the obvious

Twix is made by the same company. That wouldn’t even happen. And the FCC would be all over their ass.
And I don’t know what they have in Europe but I imagine there’s some kind of censorship organization.

@ Marebear2406 did you just get the internet?

*comes through the doorway to the movie set*

Hey guys, did I miss the fight scene take? When do we start the love story part?

How come nobody loves me?

who the hell made this mess in isle 3?

I get that these are meant to be funny and shocking but um…rape just isn’t funny. I really hope this is fake.

Oldeenglish.org made these! Check them out, they’re one of the best sketch groups around.

Bitches, you still can’t handle these nuts.

I’m fictional! what?

It’s a fake. That’s the guy from Olde English.

I’m back!

uhhhhhhhh…Candy???..

*observes*

Well, I must say, such a thing would never happen here in jolly old England. Tsk. These American brutes. They’re so bitter.

They don’t appreciate the sweetness.

oldeenglish dot come is a comedy site